Adam Mair’s Charm School For Bloggers

Katebits: Adam, I recently realized that I am TOTALLY confused about the Buffalo Sabrgosphere.  There are, like, a hundred million Sabres blogs out there!  I don’t even think I know about all the Sabres blogs anymore.  My blogroll is a mess.

Adam: Maintaining a tidy blogroll is important for any blogger who hopes to make a good impression.

Katebits: I do want to make a good impression!

Adam: And that’s why you’ve come to Adam Mair’s Charm School For Bloggers?

Katebits:  Yes. I’m looking for tips on blogging etiquette.

Adam:  I would be happy to assist you with that, Ms. Katebits.  First of all, I commend you for making this effort to become a well mannered blogger.

Katebits:  Thanks.  I try to be classy.  I mean, I’m not very good at being classy….but I try.

Adam: (gets out a leather bound notebook and fancy feather pen)  Alright, in what area of blogging do you feel you need the most guidance?

(Adam begins jotting down notes as Katebits speaks)

Katebits: Well, like I said, there are so many Sabres blogs now that I’ve gotten WAY behind in my efforts to keep track of them, much less read them all.  I spent a few minutes updating my blogroll today, and I realized there are 29 active Sabres blogs right now.  TWENTY NINE! And those are just the ones I KNOW about!  I need help keeping track of all the Sabres blogs so that I can enjoy them and link to them when appropriate.

Adam: (looking up notebook with a disapproving gaze) Katebits, if you want to be viewed as a lady of impeccable taste and high breeding you can’t have that many links in your blogroll.  It makes you look…oh heavens…how can I put this tactfully?…..well, to be perfectly frank it makes you look….easy.  A blogroll of this size is unseemly!  If you want to maintain a reputation as a woman of high moral fiber, some of those blogs have to go.

Katebits: Really?  But they’re all Sabres blogs!  I love Sabres blogs!  I could never choose!  No, I’m afraid my policy must remain: If you’re writing a Sabres blog and you’ve been regularly updating for a few weeks, send me an email and I’ll put you on the blogroll.

Adam: I say, this type of permissive policy simply will not do!  What about gossipy blogs about the player’s lives?  I suppose your blogroll is FULL of gossip blogs!

Katebits: Well, first of all, that’s not really our style.  Bloggers like to leave the unsightly gossip for the (sniffing in exaggerated disgust) message boards. Plus, not to be rude or anything, but no one really cares that much about your real lives, Adam.

Adam: What?!  I find that insulting!

Katebits: (cooly) Hm.  Well then, I apologize.

Adam: I’m not sure I can accept that apology.

Katebits: Why ever not?

Adam: I think that perhaps only a JOKE would say such a thing.

Katebits: Are you calling me a joke?

Adam: Perhaps I am!  Yes, I believe I am!  I think you, Katebits, are a joke.

Katebits: (getting angry) Oh, YEAH?  Well, what are you going to do about it?

Adam: I shall make you pay!  (rubbing a smelly hockey glove in Katebits’ face) YOU’RE A JOKE!

(Katebits and Adam start brawling until they are broken up by Sabretooth and members of the local media who happen to be filming the entire encounter.)

The End

(Moral of the story: Don’t go to Adam Mair for etiquette lessons, and if you want to be on the blogroll, send me an email.)

14 Responses to “Adam Mair’s Charm School For Bloggers”

  1. 1 Anne October 29, 2008 at 8:20 am

    It WAS the highlight of my early blogger life when we were blogrolled by you, Katebits. Woo!

  2. 2 Julia October 29, 2008 at 8:37 am

    I needed a good laugh this morning. Sweet post!

  3. 3 ReigningFrog October 29, 2008 at 10:38 am

    Katebits, I feel that, if you don’t already own one of these hats, ( it’s high time you get one.

  4. 4 Katebits October 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Aw, that’s so sweet Anne! (Your checks in the mail….:P)

    I’m glad to be of service Julia!

    DUDE, Christina! You are so right. I DO need one of those. I had NO idea that the horns were DETACHABLE. For some reason the detachable horns SEAL THE DEAL, and now I MUST have a buffalo hat!

  5. 5 ReigningFrog October 29, 2008 at 11:47 am

    The best look is when one horn is up and one points down. Buffalo sports often feel that way. I may have a 15% off coupon at home. I’ll let you know post 5 PM.

    I’m asking for a pink one for Xmas.

  6. 6 Heather B. October 29, 2008 at 11:50 am

    I’ve been debating one of those hats for an entire season now. Kate, how awesome would we be in those hats and our foam Sabretooth paws?! (You know, if those paws are ever actually in stock again.)

  7. 7 Katebits October 29, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Thanks Reigning Frog! :D

    Heather, we would be AMAZING in matching goofy hats and foam paws. (And seriously, I can’t believe how dramatically the Sabres underestimated the foam paw market. Are they stupid or something?)

  8. 8 Valerie October 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    Buffalo paws? Don’t buffalo have hooves? What do Slugs have? A foam hoof could also be appropriately goofy if well designed…I think. I don’t know. I really can’t imagine what it might look like. Maybe you need to sponsor a contest to see what the good fans can come up with to inspire the Sabres organzation.

  9. 9 Amy October 29, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    how awesome would we be in those hats and our foam Sabretooth paws?!

    You two would be guaranteed Jumbotron time.

    Don’t go to Adam Mair for etiquette lessons

    At least you got your etiquette lesson before he started charging a fee to recoup his $2500 fine for going after Neil.

  10. 10 JB October 29, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    YAY! I was put on your roll! Thanks bunches! I feel like a superstar!

  11. 11 Valerie October 29, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    I just noticed my blog on the Hockey Blogs blogroll – thanks so much! kewl.

  12. 12 Jonathan October 29, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Who knew bagging on Chris Neil would draw the anonymous commentators out. I’ll take any comments that I can get.

    Plus I love your conversations with the players. Everyone of them is always great.

  13. 13 Katebits October 29, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    Valerie, I apologize for not having your blog up there this whole time! I couldn’t believe it when I realized you weren’t on my blogroll!

    My pleasure, JB!

    Thank you Jonathan!

    Ooh, you make a good point about the Jumbotron, Amy. I live in fear of the jumbotron camera. Hm. I might have to rethink this buffalo hat plan….:D

  14. 14 danielleia October 30, 2008 at 12:17 am

    You need a “New York” character. I can totally represent if you want me too…

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