Sabres @ Penguins 12/8/08

When I woke up this morning and this story was making the media rounds, I said to myself, “Self, this is bullshit.  You need to eat some marshmallows for breakfast and then think of a way to create a little joy in this world, because this town is gonna make you crazy.”  I then proceeded to create a little joy in this world by eating marshmallows for breakfast and taking a nap from 10:30am-11:45.  (I didn’t say I was going to create joy in the WHOLE world…..just mine. )

There is a limit to how many things I can worry about at once.  Here are the things currently on my “to worry about” list:

(in no particular order)

1. Super germs
2. The Bills moving to Toronto.
3. How can Q-tips be bad when they feel so good?
4. The economy
5. Where is that buzzing sound coming from on my viola?
6. Whether or not the Sabres need a new coach.  (I’m sorry to say that I think they do)

As you can see, I have no room in my life to worry about the Sabres being sold and moved to Hamilton.  I suppose this topic is a perfectly reasonable thing to worry about, but I just don’t have room on my plate for it right now.  It’s not you, random-report-that-the-Sabres-are-up-for-sale-to-the-highest-bidder, it’s me.

So, without further ado (or angst about this, or any other thing not on the above list), here is your gameday blog:


Mood: Average
Favorite Sabre: Tom Golisano.  Tom, have I told you lately that I love you?
Least Favorite Sabre: All of the rest of them.
Worst news EVER: The Sabres are moving to Hamilton?  Whatevs.  THIS GAME IS ON VERSUS?!  I WISH I WAS DEAD.
Prediction: Sabres asses on a platter, handed to whoever owns the Sabres at the end of this game.
Item representing my hopes that the Sabres win this game: A single grain of rice.



Is this better than no hope at all?  I don’t know, but it’s all we’ve got, so eat up, homes!

After the 1st (2-1, Penguins)

Mood: When expectations are incredibly low, the carnage is easier to absorb.  And actually, the carnage hasn’t been that bad so far.  I mean, what are you supposed to do against Malkin?
Favorite Sabre: Dave and Adam’s.  I LOVE this new Pommerdoodle commercial.  I love P-Doods pretending to be a stock boy, but I don’t understand the end where Peters says “You’re so lucky,” and then P-Doods shrugs his shoulders.  I mean, I, um, literally don’t understand that part.  I think I might love Dave and Adam’s a little bit MORE when their commercials make no sense. (Shop Dave and Adam’s, people.)
Least Favorite Sabre: Nathan Gerbe, don’t try to impress your new teammates by choosing to pass forty times rather than shoot.  Your new teammates are idiots, FYI.  Don’t try to emulate them in ANY WAY.

Summary of events: Evgeni Malkin is very, very, very good at hockey.

Item representing my hopes for the Sabres winning this game: one rice cake.
Rice Cake

Ultimately unsatisfying, but kind of pleasant to munch on.

After the 2nd (3-3)

Mood: Pleased?  Stunned?  Flabbergasted?
Favorite Sabre: The 5-on-3 penalty kill.  Killing off a full two minutes of 5-on-3  = straight up hot.  (Somehow managing to play half the game down TWO MEN = considerably LESS hot.)
Least Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek, how about you don’t spend the entire third period in the penalty box, m’kay?
Summary of events: The Penguins failed to break the game open when given ten years of 5-on-3, and the Sabres (somehow, miraculously) managed to capitalize on the defensive breakdowns of their foes.
Item representing my hope for the Sabres winning this game: Rice Pudding.

Looks gross, tastes great.

At the End (4-3, Sabres)

Mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  That was one of the most entertaining games we’ve seen all year.  Stressful, but fun.  I totally dig how the Sabres have delivered back-to-back  heartbreaking loses to the Pens.  Suck it, Sid.
Favorite Sabre: Ryan Miller, you complete me.
Item representing this game: This is a grain of rice, carved and painted to look like a cruise ship.

hawaii ship

Why does a person carve and paint a grain of rice to look like a cruise ship?  I don’t know.  Why do people invest so much energy in sports?  Because sometimes sports feel great.

Let’s Go Buff-a-lo!!


27 Responses to “Sabres @ Penguins 12/8/08”

  1. 1 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Wait, the game being on Versus is a bad thing? But… but… Versus means it’ll be in high-def, and that the announcers won’t be quite as brain dead and clueless about the game of hockey as usua…

    …oh, wait. I forgot You live in one of those places where your local sports net regularly gives you games in HD and your announcers aren’t routinely shocked to discover that penalties result in power plays.

  2. 2 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    On another note, why does your blog appear to be time-stamping things in Atlantic Time?

  3. 3 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    The WordPress timezone thing is a mystery to me! (So is “Atlantic Time” Are you making that up, Sam? :P)

  4. 4 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    There’s this place called “Canada,” which actually has a couple of extra time zones… although I refuse to acknowledge the Newfies’ ridiculous half-hour exemption.

  5. 5 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    They have extra time zones up there?! Crazy Canadians.

  6. 6 mcguffers December 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Why does it seem like when you’re watching a Sabres’ game on Versus, you’re watching the other team’s feed?

  7. 7 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Well, when you are watching ANY nationally televised game involving Sidney Crosby, you’re watching the other team’s feed. Heh.

  8. 8 mcguffers December 8, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    But we’ve got Derek Roy!

  9. 10 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Nathan Gerbe, don’t try to impress your new teammates by choosing to pass forty times rather than shoot.

    Clearly, he’s been working out with Pierre Marc Bouchard in the offseason. On a miniature rink in Munchkinland, one presumes…

  10. 11 KozyShank December 8, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    when was the last time anyone saw them score a goal like kotalik’s ?
    NEED MORE GARBAGE…goals that is

  11. 12 mcguffers December 8, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    Your new teammates are idiots, FYI.

    This is also the phrase Crunchy uses to welcome the rookies

    Oh, and I like how the Sabres seem to be a close team, but seriously, you don’t have to take penalties in pairs so one guy doesn’t get lonely. Idiots.

  12. 13 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    Okay…..what is happening here? AHAHAHAHAHA! WOOOOOO!

  13. 14 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    This is a shockingly entertaining game. I’m glued to the couch, and I could give a damn about the Eastern Conference…

  14. 15 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    I KNOW, Sam! These teams have been playing pretty good games all season.

  15. 16 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 8, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    That 3-second-late non-goal at the end was a carbon copy of the end of the last Wild game I went to. Except my team was on the losing end. Nice win for your boys, and Crunchy was just awesome…

  16. 17 mcguffers December 8, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    My cat is not happy about being used as a stress ball for the past 9 minutes!

  17. 18 Katebits December 8, 2008 at 11:20 pm


  18. 19 Phil December 8, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Gerbe never goes back to Portland

    I’ll burn down a building if he does, the kid is talent, grit, heart, and moxy all packed into one incredibly tiny soul-patch-sporting package

  19. 20 ReigningFrog December 9, 2008 at 1:46 am

    “6. Whether or not the Sabres need a new coach. (I’m sorry to say that I think they do)”

    Kate, I am a little worried about the consequences of taking Lindy Ruff’s name in vain. Isn’t there even a commandment about that!?

    I’m not giving up on Lindy yet. And I’ll say a Hail Ryan Miller prayer for those who take Lindy’s coaching in vain.

  20. 21 JBo December 9, 2008 at 2:57 am

    I literally had to laugh out loud when I saw the Crunchy commercial where he said. here’s how it went down:

    TV: “Hi, I’m Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres.”
    Me: “Hi, Ryan!” *waves*
    TV: “Watch Sabres hockey on the home network of the NHL: Versus.”
    Me: “HA! Not.” *turns on MSG…and then back to Versus*

  21. 22 Amy December 9, 2008 at 9:14 am

    I don’t know why someone would paint a cruise ship on a grain of rice, but it looks awesome. The detail on that itty bitty thing is blowing me away.

    I saw the Crunchy commercial

    My first thought on seeing that commercial was that the makeup people for the commercial gave him a really pink lip coating. The shade was nice, but did nothing for his coloring.

  22. 23 Erin December 9, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Someone should tell Versus that the Sabre won the game because afterwards all they could talk about is how great Malkin was.

  23. 24 CrotchetyOriginalSam December 9, 2008 at 11:03 am

    In their defense, Malkin is pretty awesome…

  24. 25 Mike in Idaho December 9, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Favorite Versus moment of the night: After Pittsburgh scores their second goal set up by Malkin, the announcers lamely try to give Crosby credit by saying he was on the penalty kill that preceded the goal. Oh yea, that was my least favorite Versus moment (and there were many).
    I predict announcers will never admit that Crosby is not even the best player on his own team. I think the spirit of Sid has infected the Pittsburgh crowd though, I haven’t heard so much whining for penalties since the Devils gloriously defeated the Habs in Montreal Saturday night.

  25. 26 kar December 10, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    yumm. rice pudding is one of my favorite things. and one of my other favorite things is watching the sabres beat the penguins on versus while the announcers are barely noticing that there are other players on the ice besides crosby and malkin. :)

  1. 1 Friday Links! « First Time Caller, Long Time Listener Trackback on December 12, 2008 at 10:09 am

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In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Willful Caboose uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey my criticism and inform the public of the Sabres' suckitude/badassitude (whatever the case may be). Photos on The Willful Caboose are used without permission, but do not interfere with said owner's profit. If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail me (willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com) and I will be more than happy willing to oblige. (Special thanks to The Pensblog for their help with this disclaimer.)



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