Mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I had resigned myself to missing all the Sabres games while I’m in Minnesota for Christmas, but due to a miracle of scheduling, I am currently sitting at Sam’s house grinning with anticipation. I have Sam’s keys while he’s away for his holiday, and Sam has Center Ice.
Favorite Sabre: It’s been so long since I watched the Sabres that I can barely remember who is on the team. I have a happy, vague memory of some kind of…..duck? When I’m out and running errands, give a quack for the duck? (I hope the Duck is feeling better.)
Least Favorite Sabre: I’m having no trouble recalling my distaste for Timothy Connolly.
Prediction: Hm. I had a fantastic Chirstmas. I made a deLICious turkey. I got fantastic presents. A fantastic game is too much to hope for under these generally fantastic circumstances. I’m going to assume the Sabres are about to lose, in extreme UN-fantastic style.
Item representing my hopes for this game: Christmas present
Let’s not get our hopes up here. Most likely this is a pair of horrible scratchy socks, or grannie panties. When you open it just keep smiling and try to pretend that you’ve always wanted three pairs of gigantic underwear, because it’s the thought that counts.
After the 1st, (0-0)
Mood: Chipper! With the exception of NEVER being able to clear the puck out of their own zone, the Sabres don’t look like total piles of puke.
Favorite Sabre: Patrick Lalime is being pretty foxy. Good thing, too. The score should probably be 15-0, Capitals right now.
Least Favorite Sabre: James Patrick. According to Chaz, Duck is still suffering from the ill effects of getting hit in the face by a James Patrick shot during a practice a few weeks ago. James Patrick, you suck.
Summary of Events: It was a pretty uptempo period. Both teams had a few good chances. During the Intermission Report, Kevin Sylvester interviews Chris Butler who looks and talks like he’s a seasoned pro. He’s a rookie? He must be a late bloomer. ‘Cause no way that guy is less than forty-five-years-old.
Prediction: I predict that we hear “Let’s Go Buff-a-lo” in the Caps arena, that we see the “It’s pronounced Canada” commercial at LEAST five more times, and that this game will NOT end 0-0. I know, I know, my powers of clairvoyance are scary.
Item representing my hopes for this game: Oranges
I totally dig oranges, but I don’t think they’re a very good present….Santa.
After the 2nd (1-0, Capitals)
Mood: Highly disturbed.
Favorite Sabres: Vanek, please be okay. Please. Please.
Least Favorite Sabre: Pommers is one of those players who I never blame for anything ever, but he looks like a guy who is never going to score again.
Summary of Events: Well, that got lame in a hurry. Ovechkin broke Vanek’s leg, and then some Cap scored from the blue line. And then Ovechkin scored, but it was waved off because some Cap was sitting on Lalime at the time. (Incidentally, that’s one of my favorite things ever [as long as it’s not happening to the Sabres, of course]- when the home team scores, the crowd gets all riled up, and then not only is the goal waved off but the home team gets a penalty. Heh.)
Item representing my hopes for this game: Granny panties
Goddamn it. Christmas is ruined. Again.
At the end (3-2, Capitals)
Mood: As predicted, sad. Also with a good dose of frustration.
Favorite Sabre: Vanek can score with only one leg and one stump. Also, Lalime was MUCH better than that score indicated. The rest of the Sabres better be reeeal nice to him for the next few days, because he deserved better.
Least Favorite Sabre: I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine. Just leave me alone.
Summary of events: Well, Tallinder and Ovechkin will have a highlight to add to the reels. Same highlight. Different reels.
Prediction: The Sabres are never winning again. I mean it this time.
Item representing my hopes for this team: dirty snow
Tis the season.