2 Things

1. You know what commercial I’ve seen WAY more than enough of?  The one for a men’s deodorant where the voiceover asks, “What’s your armpit type?  Sweaty?  Hairy?  Sensitive?”  That commercial is gross.  I understand that men have armpits, and that those armpits need deodorant, but frankly, I don’t like thinking about armpit types.

2. Speaking of armpits and other slightly gross things, I have to make a confession:

I have a crush on Evgeni Malkin.

I know.

I wish I could just say “I’m in awe of his playing,” but sadly, it’s more than just that.  It’s all very unseemly and disturbing, but I can’t keep it bottled up inside any longer…I’m…hot for Evgeni Malkin.

I’m admitting this tonight because tonight he scored a hat trick, and “I’m hot for Evgeni Malkin” makes a LOT more sense when you’ve just seen him score a goal like this, but I’ve been nursing this crush for awhile now.


Let’s never speak of this again.


19 Responses to “2 Things”

  1. 1 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 21, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    1. The first time I saw the pit commercial, I just assumed it was an SNL spoof or something. I am a man, I have pits, and that ad makes me want to blow up whatever company makes that brand of deodorant.

    2. Russian guys = bad news. Trust me. I have a fair amount of experience with this.

  2. 2 Katebits May 21, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Your main objection to my Malkin-love is that he’s Russian? I thought “hideous” would be the biggie, but okay.

    Glad we’re in agreement about the pits.

  3. 3 mcguffers May 21, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    Alllllrrrright. The playoffs need to end now. All you guys have developed some crazy crushes. We’re not talking playoff goggles anymore. It’s beyond that. It’s like the opposite of Lasik surgery. Someone has gone in and burned everyone’s retinas. I feel like I’m in that episode of Twilight Zone where the pig people are the attractive ones. I’m starting a support group for you, the Ookies, and alix. You guys need an intervention. I’m only doing this for your own good.

  4. 4 Erin May 22, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Malkin? He looks like a Mr. Potato Head that got warped in the sun. He might be ‘special needs’. Sorry. But his parents are cute. Adorable in-laws are a major plus.

    My only question about the deodorant is……….what does the ‘hairy’ one do? Is it partially razors?

  5. 5 Rebecca May 22, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Holy crap, that was an amazing goal! And he’s got a cute little baby face. We’ll let the crush thing slide, just this once. You may just be misinterpreting the goosebumps you got from seeing that goal. Or was that just me?

  6. 6 Schnookie May 22, 2009 at 11:12 am

    It’s like the opposite of Lasik surgery.


    And I don’t think I need to be put in a support group for playoff goggles gone wrong — I haven’t developed a single playoff-goggle crush yet this postseason. It’s TERRIBLE. (And yes, mcguggs, that means my love of Looch is the real deal, not some fleeting postseason-only thing. Heh.)

  7. 7 MarkB May 22, 2009 at 11:12 am

    That commercial is so gross. Each time it comes on, I scream out, “No pits, please!”

  8. 8 Katebits May 22, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Well, since I’m already taking heat for Malkin (who incidentally is NOT the result of playoff goggles. It’s the real deal. I should have admitted it months ago), I should probably take this opportunity to admit that I might be harboring a small (and unholy) appreciation for Bill Guerin. (Now Guerin can be blamed on faulty playoff goggles.)

  9. 9 Schnookie May 22, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Yeah, a crush on Bill Guerin can really only be the result of playoff goggles gone horribly awry. Because NO ONE loves regular-season Guerin.

  10. 10 Katebits May 22, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Look, no one is more disgusted by the Guerin thing than me.

  11. 11 Sally May 23, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Have you SEEN what Malkin LOOKS like?

  12. 12 pumpjacksandbison May 23, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Malkin goes by CartoonHead from me :) His nose resembles a clown thingy.

    Last year I was bit by the Datsyuk playoff beetle. That beetle was soon skwished.

    now…Patrick Eaves from the Canes…that’s one dirty pleasure that I can’t kick. SWOOOON.

  13. 13 Pookie May 23, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    Look, no one is more disgusted by the Guerin thing than me.

    And Malkin. He clearly looks upset and disgusted by it. Wait, what’s that? He always looks like that? Oh, I apologize.

  14. 14 Katebits May 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Malkin IS kind of a CartoonHead! A sexy, gross, mouthbreathing, CartoonHead! I like it, pumpjacksandbison!

    And Malkin. He clearly looks upset and disgusted by it. Wait, what’s that? He always looks like that? Oh, I apologize.

    :^:::::::::::::: It’s funny because it’s true.

  15. 15 kristin May 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    as usual, I’m late to the party, but I’m so so so sorry to hear about the Malkin thing. It’s sort of incomprehensible. How did it start?

    • 16 Katebits May 24, 2009 at 10:57 pm

      Here’s the thing. At first it was just his playing. For a long time I was able to appreciate him for his playing alone, but somehow things got all turned around and the next thing I knew, I was smitten.

      He’s one of VERY few hockey players who I find riveting not just because they’re good at hockey but because I like how they LOOK playing hockey. He’s so tall and lanky. Something about the way his he hunches over his very long legs just really does it for me. It’s awful.

  16. 17 kristin May 25, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Ah yes, it always starts with they way they play. Gotta watch out for that one, it can sneak up on you!

    As someone who has terrible taste in hockey boys, I wish you the best of luck with Mr. Malkin. At least you don’t have to fight over him with anyone else!

  17. 18 Flowery owl February 28, 2010 at 11:57 am

    I just came across your (pretty cool) blog whilst shamefully trawling through Malkin pictures on google images.

    I realise I’m a year late for the discussion, but I have to join you in your inexplicable state of Malkin-love.

    It’s weird, it’s completely against everything you thought you thought, but yes. I agree. Malkin is hot. Even though he totally isn’t.

    We should start UK and US branches of a support group.

  18. 19 Flowery owl February 28, 2010 at 11:58 am

    but Guerrin? That one I just don’t get.

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