Confession #1

Forgive me Hockey, for I have sinned. It has been four months since my last hockey game.

I have watched two baseball games.
I have taken Lindy Ruff’s name in vain 194 times.
I have coveted my neighbor’s players (Evgeni Malkin).
I have taken pleasure in the misfortune of others. (Specifically, the Dany Heatley saga).
I have lost faith.
I have worshiped at the altar of another game (Bejeweled Blitz).

As penance for my sins, I will say ten Hail Garys (Bettman), and twelve Let’s Go Buffalos.


7 Responses to “Confession #1”

  1. 1 Katebits September 10, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    I should have said this in the body of the post, but thank you to Matt for the idea of a Hockey Confession. I would have put it in the body of the post, but I couldn’t figure out how to work it into the confession naturally. Because hockey confessions are so natural…

  2. 2 Heather B. September 10, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    I have taken Lindy Ruff’s name in vain 194 times.

    Hmmmmm… I think you might be underconfessing on that one, young lady.

  3. 4 Matt September 11, 2009 at 3:55 pm


  4. 5 Katebits September 11, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    Yeah, Hail Gary is pretty gross. But it RHYMES.

  5. 6 karen September 11, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    I’m going to wind up in confession for how much I’ve enjoyed your church parody posts!

  6. 7 Matt September 11, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    Parody? This is supposed to be parody? No wonder the Catholic Church disowned me…

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