I think we can all agree that this offseason was somehow longer, and more arduous than last summer. In an attempt to shield myself from the pain of the seemingly endless days of the offseason, I shelved “hockey” in some deep dark corner of my brain. I boxed “hockey” up, and shoved it deep down in there, and I tried not to think too much about it, because a) The Sabres suck ass and I hate them, and b) I miss them so so so so much when they’re gone.
In early August, hockey was just too painful and too confusing to dwell on for long.
I couldn’t go to Puck Drop because today I had an arduous and unavoidable, all-day task scheduled. It was a LAME day for your humble scribe, so hockey was quite far from my mind. I spent a minute or two in the morning inquiring via Twitter if Staffy was on the ice, but other than that, I figured my day would be 100% Sabre-free. But THEN, at about 3:15 when my arduous and unavoidable all-day task unexpectedly ended 45 minutes early, I found myself thinking…”I wonder if the box office at HSBC is still open?”
So, I hopped in the Civic Doody and booked it over to the arena.
HSBC was mostly cleared out, but there were still a few street hockey games going on and the season ticket table WAS still open, so it was with great great great glee that I picked these bad boys up:
They’re rocking a “Ye Olde Tyme Sabres” thing this year
I gotta tell you, those tickets put a mighty spring back into my step. The stress and annoyance of the arduous and unavoidable all-day task quickly became but a distant memory as it suddenly and joyfully dawned on me, OH MY GOD HOCKEY IS BACK. I HAVE TICKETS TO EVERY SINGLE GAME. IT’S BACK AND IT’S NOT GOING AWAY FOR SIX MONTHS. IT’S A BRAND NEW SEASON. HALLELUJAH! HOCKEY IS BAAAAACK! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
It was clear that they were trying to close the arena down but I would not be deterred. I HAD TO SEE MY SEATS. So, I went bounding up the stairs (the escalators were all going down), and tried to nonchalantly slip by the security guard at the top of the stairs, but he wasn’t having it. I TRIED to charm him, and for a second I thought I had him, but even when I clasped my hands together in “begging” formation, and gave him my best “Pleeeeeeeease can I go look at my seats! Plllllleeeeease,” (I admit that I exaggerate for comedic effect a LOT on this blog, but I SWEAR on my life that I am not exaggerating now. I literally begged this man to let me in) he didn’t bend. All he did was laugh at me- which means he will either be my boyfriend or my sworn enemy by season’s end. Only time will tell.
So, I still haven’t seen my seats, but that’s okay because HOCKEY IS ALMOST BACK AND SOON I GET TO SEE MY SEATS ALL THE DING-DANG TIME! WOOOOO!
When I got home from the arena, I was so gung-ho for hockey that I did something that I don’t think I’ve done all summer- I looked at the Sabres roster.
First things first.
Hey, Goose! HONK o’ the morning to you!
I was surprised to realize that I’ve never heard of half the dudes on the Sabres roster right now. Who are THESE guys?
Oh dear, Paul Byron. Oh no.
And then there was a pleasant surprise! Matt Ellis! He’s still a Sabre?! Hot diggity!
He’s still a Sabre, but he’s turned tiny over the summer. Why did they take Matt Ellis’ picture from thirty feet away? He looks like a kindergartener.
And just like that, with one glimpse at the Sabres website, hockey IS BACK. What the heck have I been blathering on about all summer? OUR LONG NIGHTMARE IS OVER! HOCKEY IS BACK! Soon, we’ll have scrimmages, and roster photos and GAMES to write about!
Maybe they won’t suck this season! What?….I SAID MAYBE!