Offsetting My Cranky Footprint

The timing of this Ilya Kovalchuk trade is really a shame.  The collective mental health of Sabres fans (always shaky, even in the best of times) was already spiraling, and now we’ve got Lou Lamoriello reminding us that even the DEVILS are bold and creative adventurers compared to Darcy and The Gang.  The Devils.

A month ago if you had told me that Kovalchuk would be available for the equivalent of Butler, Kennedy and Ennis I would have said, “THAT is the DUMBEST thing I have EVER heard.  I can’t WAIT to laugh and laugh and laugh at whatever pathetically desperate team bites at that one.”  Then I would have wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes and gazed adoringly at my perfect, perfect Buffalo Sabres.


Good golly.  I would trade those suckheads in a heartbeat.

To Atlanta: Butler, Kennedy, Ennis.
To Buffalo: Three orange TicTacs.

Done and DONE.  At least with this trade Butts and Kennedy would be off the ice, and Buffalo would have three delicious orange TicTacs.

I know, I know, I’m being petulant and ridiculous.  What can I say?  “Petulant and Ridiculous” is my middle name.


Here are a few uncranky things to offset my crankiness.  Consider these the “carbon credits” of pissy blogging.

– I’m not sure what Sekera’s numbers were like yesterday (I haven’t dared to look at the stats), but he was a bright spot from the game.  That guy should NOT be in the press box anymore.  Free Sekera!

– This was my fourth game in two weeks at the arena, and my second HIDEOUS game in three nights.  At some point during the second period as I was getting increasingly disgruntled (the 2nd period theoretically should have been exciting because the Sabres had something like, 40,000 shots on goal, but sadly every shot was accompanied by the deepening sense that the Sabres would never score again) I decided to play a game where I only watched Tyler Myers.  And I mean ONLY him.  I even tried to keep my eyes glued to him even when he was sitting on the bench doing nothing.  It’s a surprisingly rewarding game.  I can highly recommend it.  My game led to a lot of firing and unfiring of Tyler on Twitter, and for that, I apologize to my followers.  I was just trying to find my happy place.  (Related aside: if anyone ever wants to discuss Tyler Myers’ long-astonishingly-skinny-leg-iness, I am now fully prepared to do so.  I’ve done the research.)

– I’m not sure this qualifies as “uncranky” but let’s give it a shot: At the end of the 3rd period I reeeally had to pee but because of the STUPID GATE at the end of my row, in order to do so, I would have had to make about 15 people stand up to allow me to pass.  That’s just bad form at the end of a tie game, so I resigned myself to holding it in until the game was over.  BUT, I was feeling uncomfortable enough to say to Robin, “If this game goes to overtime I’m going to be irked.  Heh.  I shouldn’t have said that.  Now the Hurricanes are going to scor- OH FOR EFFS SAKE, CRUNCHY!”   Seriously.  The timing was that perfect.  I’m not sorry, in fact, I’m a little proud.  The Sabres deserved that jinx.

– I usually buy a few 50/50 tickets at the game.  I find 50/50 charming in its simplicity.  Usually I buy between 1-5 tickets depending entirely on how many one dollar bills I have in my wallet.  Last night, I bought 4 tickets.  Get this- the gal who sold me the tickets tore each ticket off of a different booklet.  I thought this was INCREDIBLE.  I’m sure that the math will back me up here, because I believe STRONGLY that my odds of winning go up exponentially when my ticket numbers are not sequential.   Thank you 50/50 girl!  I didn’t win last night, but I sincerely appreciate your efforts to increase my chances.


19 Responses to “Offsetting My Cranky Footprint”

  1. 1 Heather B February 6, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    I’ve often thought of asking the 50/50 girl to give me my tickets from different books, but I was afraid that would sound crazy. Next time maybe I will. Kudos to your girl.

    Free Sekera indeed. Yeah, he’s going to get better sitting in the press box, Lindy. All players do.

  2. 2 Katebits February 6, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Once Robin and I had a whole conversation about running around the arena buying one 50/50 ticket from each seller, but it had never occurred to me to ask them to tear each ticket from a different book! (I’m none too bright, admittedly.)

    Sekera is a curious case. I wonder if he has been sitting because he’s clearly more of an offensive defenseman and Lindy’s system has been so defense oriented up until now. I dunno. I feel like we simply have too many middling defensemen. I really, really, really, REALLY hope Darcy trades one of them for forward. (Like, what would a Stafford/Butler package fetch? Or hell, you think Rivet has any trade value?)

  3. 3 Schnookie February 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Those three orange tic tacs could make a HUGE difference on the PP.

  4. 4 Shelby Rose February 6, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    The three orange tic-tacs could score more than our top six forwards.

  5. 5 Katebits February 6, 2010 at 2:07 pm


    I harbor no illusions about the TicTacs being goods at hockey. Their only value to me is their deliciousness.

    We do need some good players though. I was lamenting yesterday that the Ellis and Mair line is INCREDIBLE at keeping the puck in but terrible at scoring. The top lines are capable of scoring, but only if the other team does not challenge them for the puck. I can’t believe no one has perfected that Combine-two-people-with-speicalized-skills-and-create-ONE-super-useful-person machine yet. Come ON technology! I feel like I’ve been waiting for the Goose/Roy-Z Hybrid forEVER. I bet it’s the Two-people-should-not-be-turned-into-one-person lobbyists who are holding this back. WE’VE HAD THE TECHNOLOGY FOR YEARS.

  6. 6 Shelby Rose February 6, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I feel like Roy converging with Goose will only cancel out Goose’s amazing powers.

  7. 7 Katebits February 6, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Yeah, you’re probably right, Shelby. Too dangerous.

  8. 8 SueInVirginia February 6, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Sekera had one goal and two assist but was a +1 for the night because of those defensive lapse that allowed two goals while he was out on the ice. I would leave him on the fourth line and put Montador back on defense, perhaps with Rivet but I would never dream of telling Lindy what to do. Overall, he seems pretty smart to me. :-)

  9. 9 dave in Rocha February 6, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    “I’m sure that the math will back me up here, because I believe STRONGLY that my odds of winning go up exponentially when my ticket numbers are not sequential.”

    Hate to burst your bubble, but… no.

    Well, ASSUMING that the ticket stubs in the big barrel are effectively mixed to assure complete randomness, then no, it does not matter what numbers your tickets are. Sorry.

    And no way do you trade Ennis for a tic-tac. Maybe Gerbe, but not Ennis. Feel free to trade Roy for a piece of candy corn though.

  10. 10 Heather B February 6, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    I just put this in a comment on my blog too, but, in seriousness, I think Ennis is potentially too special to trade. Just about anyone else can go in the right package but hang on to him. I have no idea if Craig Rivet has any trade value at all but boy, would I have to pack him up and move him. I don’t know if I can watch him for another season. My understanding is we have a lot of defensive prospects too so that probably is our area of strength to trade from. For all my Sabres apologetics, I would definitely love to see some adjustments to the top six.

    I would love to download Roy-Z’s talent into Goose. Man, that’d be an awesome hockey player right there.

  11. 11 Heather B February 6, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Oh, I think you’re probably right that part of the reason Sekera has been sitting is because his defensive gaffes don’t mesh well with the all defensive, all the time system. But I think he’s just the odd man out too. Rivet should sit, IMO, but no one will scratch him because he’s the captain. I’m not entirely sure why Butler’s getting so many chances to eff up while Sekera sits and sits though. Probably because Lindy hates Europeans. :P

  12. 12 Katebits February 6, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    SueinVirgina, WHAT?! Telling Lindy what to do is my favorite thing in the world. :P

    Dave, just to be clear, I was kidding about the non-sequential ticket number thing. I’m aware that 1 ticket = 1 chance, no matter how you cut it. :D

    Heather, If Ellis is so fabulous, fine, give them someone else! I don’t think Cormier is considered to be a particularly special prize (he was drafted 54th overall and he’s going to have to work REAL hard to shake that whole “psycho” thing.) Maybe we have someone farther down the food chain to cash in.

  13. 13 Heather B February 6, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    We can cash in someone else. That’s totally cool.

  14. 14 Amy February 6, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    I would love to download Roy-Z’s talent into Goose. Man, that’d be an awesome hockey player right there.

    As long as all of Roy-Z’s less desirable attributes – whining, diving, a propensity to have embarrassing photos appear on the internet – don’t get downloaded as well.

  15. 15 Becky February 7, 2010 at 6:15 am

    The 1 ticket = 1 chance thing sounds perfectly logical until the ticket# right after the one in your hand wins. Then you kick yourself for not buying one more :)

  16. 16 SueInVirginia February 7, 2010 at 8:10 am

    I’m sitting here wondering if Rivet sitting himself would be a spark for the team. We know/have heard Lindy won’t sit his Captain because it was done to him and he didn’t like it but perhaps Craigsy (?) will take one for the team. Of course, he was better last night so perhaps there is no need for him to sit.

    I heard on wgr after the game that el Montador has an injury (happened during the hit which lead to his fight). I wonder if this is good for Ellis or Paestch?

  17. 17 Jillian February 7, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Last time for the 50/50 the lady selling them asked us, I was like what a good idea! haha but yeah, I never get too confident about winning because I don’t win anything…ever.

  18. 18 D February 8, 2010 at 8:16 am

    is anyone going to discuss crunchy’s disturbingly manicured facial hair? it might’ve been covered already – i missed watching the last few games entirely but happened to tune into the middle of the last game to see a shot of him on the bench – i have to say i’m more concerned about this than anything else – also, my dad ALWAYS has the 50/50 ladies tear off from different books and i was also impressed with this technique! (i live in nyc so only go to a few games a year – are there any 50/50 dudes?)

  19. 19 ToonTom February 8, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Make the trade for two tic tacs and one toe, then we’ll get some tic-tac-toe passing. But wait, the Sabres are great passers already aren’t they. It’s what comes after passing that this team seems incapable of doing.

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