While I was drinking my coffee and puttering around online this morning, I stumbled upon this article about the Canadian “Own the Podium” program.
Now look, I’m all for our Canadian friends picking up their fair share of medals, and I also applaud the idea that finishing 4th isn’t good enough, but good grief. This program just seems so…un-Canadian.
Look what you did, Canada! Now all your athletes are underachieving and freaking out under the pressure. They’re crying when they lose because they feel like they’ve let the country down. That’s not cool, Canada. Canadians don’t need to dominate- you guys are supposed to be nice and chillaxed. That’s your thing. You don’t want to be like the USA and China and Russia. Sure we win lots of medals, but we’re also kind of a-holes. You guys are supposed to nicer than us. Come on.
Anyway, the whole thing reminds me of the episode of Arrested Development when George Michael, encouraged by his well meaning but delusional father, decides to run for student body president. I’ve had little clips of that episode running through my head all day, specifically the line, “Everybody loves you! You’re George Michael CANADA! Who’s cooler than you?”
The thing is, everyone DOES love George Michael.
…(but we’re still voting for STEVE HOLT).
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!