My pep talk on Thursday worked ridiculously well (I mean, Jason Pomiville scored a hat-trick. Jason. Pominville.) , so, in honor of Lindy’s tried and true “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach to the line-up, I will stick to the pre-game blog posting routine.
Okay. That was a pretty good game on Thursday.
I know you’re tempted to phone it in tonight. I know this because I know you, and because I’m looking at the schedule and I see that you’re playing the Panthers. “Panthers?!” I can hear you giggling to each other, “They suck! We can beat them easily! WOOOO!”
You hosers need to listen to me. Are you listening? Everyone?
THOMAS VANEK STOP FLAGELLATING YOURSELF WITH THAT BAMBOO SWITCH, AND LISTEN TO ME. MAYBE YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME BERATING YOURSELF AND NONE OF YOUR TIME SEEKING PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP. EVER THINK OF THAT? NOW LISTEN TO ME.
Okay listen up, gentlemen.
I just looked at the standings, and yes, the Panthers seem to be kind of stinky, but remember last year when you ALWAYS lost to stinky teams? That was lame, don’t you agree? If you don’t come out hard, and you don’t play grown-up defense, the Panthers will beat you. I mean, they’re stinky, but they’re not that stinky. No team in the league is so stinky that they can’t beat you guys if you’re being Lazy Sabres. Also, Tomas Vokun can eff you up good if you’re not careful.
So, in closing:
1. Thomas, stop beating yourself up both physically and mentally.
2. Don’t take the Panthers lightly because if you do, you’ll lose and we will be sad.
PS- Apparently my future husband, Mr. Byron Bitz, is now a Panther. Please give him a gentle kiss on the forehead from me.