A Few Thoughts On the East

Remember a few days ago when I bitched that, “I hate the playoffs this year,” all pout-y like?

I was out gallivanting last night, so I didn’t watch either of the games, but when I saw the scores I got sucked right back in.  I think that’s one thing I should try to remember about the playoffs.   They take a million years to unfold, so there’s plenty of time to lose and then regain interest as the rounds progress.  I was so grossed out by the Sabres that it took me a few weeks to get back into “casual observer” mode, which is necessary if you are going to attempt to watch games played by teams that you largely hate.  Now that I’ve had a little period of time to recover from the Sabres, I’m pretty amused by the goings-on with the rest of the Eastern Conference.

What the heck is going on here?

Habs: I’m a Sabres fan, and a decent person, so I don’t really like the Habs, but dang it, those little guys are scrappy!   Unless you hate the Habs with a burning passion (I don’t), I think you have to be at least a little intrigued at this point.  I’m incredibly jealous of Canadiens fans.  Cheering for a team that is massively overachieving seems like one of the most appealing things in all of sports fandom.  What could be more fun than that?

(I feel compelled to make a small but totally embarrassing confession here.  This is DEFINITELY might just my playoff goggles talking, but I loooove me some Hal Gill.  He’s gigantic and handsome, and I know his nickname is “No Skill-Gill,” but I don’t care.  I like it when Hal Gill is happy and doing lots of interviews.  I also have a soft spot for Brian Gionta, which I’m not even TRYING to curb because I think a crush on Brian Gionta compliments a crush on Hal Gill very nicely.  It’s as if my playoff goggles are practicing Feng-shui.)

Flyers: Look, I know you guys hate the Flyers, and I’m certainly not in love with them or anything, but COME ON, you HAVE to be rooting for them at this point.  I know it burns to see the Flyers succeed, but try not to focus on that.  Just focus on how uncomfortable, freaked-out, and nervous the Bruins must be right now- poised at the precipice of complete collapse.  Don’t think of it as “cheering for the Flyers” think of it as “cheering for the humiliation of the Bruins, specifically Chara.”

_____

The great thing about the situation in the East is that no matter who emerges victorious, it’s safe to assume they’ll be completely demolished in the Finals.  So, while it feels dirty and wrong to cheer for any of the remaining teams, I think there’s very little risk of permanent psychological damage here.

So, fuck it.  Go Flyers!

20 Responses to “A Few Thoughts On the East”


  1. 1 piece May 13, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    it’s not psychological damage I would be worried about rooting for the flyers. aren’t you coming here in a few weeks?

    ominously,

    p

  2. 2 elise May 13, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    DITTO, KATE!!! you are now coaching 6 groups playing Vivaldi’s Four Violins! Go Tuukka!

  3. 3 Katebits May 13, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    you are now coaching 6 groups playing Vivaldi’s Four Violins!

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You diabolical MONSTER! (Just kidding, I would coach a THOUSAND Vivaldi Four Violins before I would cheer for the Bruins! :P)

  4. 4 ms.conduct May 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    I was trying to deny it but I might as well admit to a Hal Gill crush, too. For all the reasons you said. He’s one of the few players I’ve crushed on who I would feel okay taking home to mom. Normally I like ’em a little smarmy.

  5. 5 elise May 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Kate!! I KNEW it!! I just told “piece” that you would say that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hee hee. Don’t worry, you are coaching fun/good groups…

  6. 6 mcguffers May 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Kate, some other Habs to help your crush along:

    Josh Gorges is a spunky, young defenseman who’s been in the shadows the past few years, but has really become one of their most dependable players.

    Jaro Halak was always assumed to be Carey Price’s back up, no matter how well he did last season. So this is finally his, “Eff you guys! I told you I was good!” moment.

    Thomas Plekanec says “I will wear turtlenecks no matter how uncool you guys say they are!”

    PK Subban will do whatever for his team. “If they ask me to fill water bottles, I’ll fill water bottles.”

    Spacho!! And remember Dominic Moore when he played here for, like 20 minutes?

    Maxim Lapierre is like a douche-ier version of Kaleta, only without the annoying goal celebration.

    And Mike Cammalleri! Michigan/Michigan State

    Yeah, they had their WTF moments this season, but they got their shit together for the playoffs and are giving their fans a big “Thank you, even if you didn’t always love us/believe in us, you were still there for us.” This is what I had hoped the Sabres could have done those two seasons they didn’t make it in. (and we won’t even talk about this year…)

    Sorry this is long and cheesy, but watching these guys get eliminated by the Flyers two years ago, and swept by the Bruins last year, I am SO ready for whoever they play in conf finals. Go Habs Go!!

  7. 7 kel May 13, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I dunno, almost want to see the bruins make it through just to be crushed by those plucky habs. THAT would be extra awesomely humiliating considering just how much hatred there is between the two teams. and up until recently the habs OWNED the bruins, even when on paper the bruins were the better team. I’d hate to take the risk that the bruins go on to the finals, but honestly, bruins/habs with the habs going on to the finals would be super awesome and I could go neener neener neener to all my bruins fan friends out here (I am reporting from behind enemy lines here in Boston, proudly wearing my Sabres hoodie on weekends)

  8. 8 lifeinspoons May 13, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    I’m new to this hockey thing so I don’t really harbour much hatred for any team (although I can’t bring myself to root for the Senators). Can’t say I love the Habs, but I’ve been cheering for them. They’re having an epic run and I do appreciate underdogs. That and I know too many Canadians. As for the Flyers, I’m thrilled that someone is taking it to the Bruins. I want every team member of the Flyers to have sore, red hands from the spanking they’ll be delivering Boston.

  9. 9 elise May 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    kate, I’m also new to hockey. why does everyone hate the Bruins so?

  10. 10 SueInVA May 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    I’ve hated the Flyers for so long. I hate the Bruins with a passion right now. I hate them even more than I did when the playoffs started in part because they are making me cheer for the Flyers! Stupid Bruins! Go Flyers. (Besides, I had to giggle last night when little Danny Briere knock Charra on his butt! )

    Also, go go Habs (except Scott Gomez)!

    But ultimately, I have to cheer for the sharks. They are the only team left who’s never won. But then again, would it not be interesting to have Chicago go to the cup finals with Hossa only to lose? Three-peat!!!

  11. 11 kel May 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    a) because the are evil and have that baby eating giant Chara

    b) Boychuck slashing Vanek just after we got him back.

    c) when I was a sophomore in High School I had a teacher named Mr. R who would give us a quiz every time the sabres lost. And they were TERRIBLE that year (the following year they were fantastic, but that year, not so much). Over a spring break we had a home and home series against the bruins and the sabres lost every game. We had math quizzes every day for like a week after that vacation.

    d)back in the good old days of the adams division, the sabres and bruins played each other in the first round of the playoffs pretty much every season. The hatred now has leveled off (seems more focused on the leafs and ottawa) but good lord sabres/bruins games back in the day were intense. Also, I miss that the divisions used to have names based on people from the game. It would make people curious “why is this the adams division” and then they would learn something about the history of the game. And that’s one of the things I love about hockey, is the respect for the history and tradition (like not touching the cup if you haven’t won it)

    YMMV

  12. 12 Katebits May 13, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Elise, The Bruins and the Sabres are division rivals, so over the years the two teams have seen a lot of each other, but the MAIN reason we all hate the Bruins right now is because they just dispatched the Sabres after injuring Vanek. As you know, I’m pretty new to hockey myself, and I will say that the Bruins have been pretty frustrating in the three years I’ve been a fan. They just seem to have our number. I’m pretty sick of the Bruins.

    The Canadiens and the Bruins are ALSO division rivals, and that rivalry is SUPER hardcore, except for in that case it’s basically been decades and decades of the Habs completely owning the Bruins. The recent exception is last year when the Bruins swept the Habs in the first round. So, the Habs are probably looking for some good revenge there. That rivalry is funny from an outside perspective because if we’re lucky Bill Simmons will write a column about how the Habs ruined his childhood and made him cry so hard his nose bled and ruined the couch.

    Ordinarily I think I’d be kind of neutral in a “Who do you hate more, Canadiens or Bruins?” situation, but not this year. The Bruins must pay for beating the Sabres, and the Habs are being all appealing and Cinderella-y.

  13. 13 Katebits May 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Kel, I cannot imagine anything more evil than a teacher who gave you quizzes after a Sabres loss. Talk about adding insult to injury. Sheesh.

  14. 14 elise May 13, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    Thanks, Kate! Plus, I’ve learned to accept the Boston hate! It’s just a first for me in hockey…

  15. 15 Schnookie May 13, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    See, this is how it starts. You think, “It won’t leave a permanent scar, right?” and start cheering for the Flyers just this one time, and then maybe the cheering pays off and they advance, and you think, “Oh, what will another nibble hurt?” and then one day you wake up and there’s a tranny lying next to you in bed wearing a wedding band matching the one that somehow ended up on your finger, and then you’re stuck, and all your blogging peers go out of their way to say you’re too orange, and the shame is so terrible, but there’s nothing you can do about it because DAMMIT, YOU LOVE THAT TRANNY. What I’m trying to say is, be careful. You won’t even know it until you’re in too deep. :P

  16. 16 sallypants May 14, 2010 at 12:30 am

    I don’t know from this “Hal Gill” character of which you speak, but the Versus showed me a “Gill Hal” yesterday. I was impressed.

    Also, I’ve been in love with Dominic Moore since before he was a Sabre.

  17. 17 Katebits May 14, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Schnookie, :^:::::::::::::::::::::: I think I’m safe with the Flyers. I have absolutely no affection for the Flyers at this point. My interest in that series is all about the Bruins hilariously collapsing. But yes. This IS a dangerous little game. I’m in FAR more danger of a tranny situation with the Habs.

    Sally, that video is adorable.

  18. 18 ToonTom May 14, 2010 at 10:37 am

    A team comprised of Satan’s minions, pedophiles and genocidal dictators could win the Stanley Cup and I’d be happy because it wasn’t Montreal. I’m cheering for the Flyers because I think they can bash up the Habs pretty bad, while the Bruins are proving how soft they really are.

  19. 19 Katebits May 14, 2010 at 11:32 am

    A team comprised of Satan’s minions, pedophiles and genocidal dictators could win the Stanley Cup and I’d be happy because it wasn’t Montreal.

    HAHAHAHHA!

  20. 20 sher May 14, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    katebits, if you think you have a crush on gionta now, you’re going to even more..

    http://tinypic.com/r/sl2npd/5
    how cute is his senior picture? i had a crush on him the first time i ever looked through my older brothers yearbook and saw that! hah.

    anyways.. i want to hate these playoffs so bad. for the obvious. plus my fall back team the canucks are out. but dang it, i really am loving the way the habs are playing. AND they are proving the timbit sized guys aren’t a downfall. theyre my newest “i hope they win teh cup team” they are afterall the lesser of three evils in the east right now.


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