I love it when the NHL reminds me of Arrested Development.
The gesture that Gob makes when he says “reach around” is super funny to me.
It appears that Gary Bettman has grown tired of slippery GMs signing players to these ridiculous contracts. He’s not going to take it anymore!
Take THAT, Lou Lamoriello!
So, a couple of hiLARious things happened yesterday:
1. The Devils held a press conference to announce Kovalchuk’s only-sliiiightly-more-ridiculous-than-all-the-other-cap-circumventing-contracts-that-came-before contract.
2. At that press conference Lou Lamoriello basically stuck his tongue out at the league and said, “Na-na-na-na-boo-boo! You can’t catch me!” Which is both obnoxious and delightful.
3. The league rejected Kovalchuk’s eleventy-million year contract AFTER the Devil’s press conference. Which is both petty and amusing.
The whole thing has left me feeling both VERY amused and VERY disgusted.
Amused because, well let’s face it, the situation is funny from almost every angle. The Devils (and every other team that can attract these types of free agents, and afford their contracts) made a BIG show yesterday out of signing a player to a contact WHILE fully admitting that the contract is a farce. That’s funny. The league is behaving like a fed-up babysitter. After years of letting his babysitting charges get away with murder, Gary Bettman is suddenly yelling in harsh tones, and trying to be all authority-figure-y. That’s funny too, because like everyone knows who has ever been babysat, the babysitter has no real authority.
I don’t care at all what happens next. As a fan of a small market team that could never attract this type of player on the free agency market, these long years/low cap hit contracts get on my nerves. So, I don’t really care when or how fairly the line is drawn, I just want these contracts to stop. On the other hand, I love how Lou Lameriello basically signed Kovalchuk to a cap-circumventing contract, while simultaneously trying to ensure that no other team will be able to sign a player to one of these contracts again. That takes moxie, and I like moxie.
At this point, the whole thing is a win-win. As the late great George Carlin once said (I’m paraphrasing something I heard him say on the Tonight Show), “When you’re born, and you get a ticket to the freak show, my advice is to just sit back and enjoy.” That’s true about life, and it’s true about the NHL.