I suppose if I were a good fan and person I would more grateful for these preseason games. Theoretically, some hockey (even if it’s preseason hockey) should be better than no hockey, right? WRONG. Well, okay….yes. Preseason hockey is better than, say, the dark days of mid-August when there is no hockey ANYWHERE in sight, and you start to worry that you’re forgetting what hockey looks like, and when you go to the closet to run your hands lightly over all of the Sabres hoodies that you never wear (too hot) you panic because they don’t even smell like the arena anymore, and deep in your heart you’re terribly afraid that hockey is never coming back and you’ll have to adjust and relearn how to be happy. Preseason hockey is better than that.
But being better than mid-August is like being better than a fridge full of Diet Pepsi (when all you want is a Diet Coke). Not that hard.
You may recall that last year around this time I showed you this video of adorable children being tortured with marshmallows.
The children are given a marshmallow, and told that they can eat it right away, OR, if they can hold off on eating it for five minutes that they can have another one. Then they’re left alone in a room with only the marshmallow and filmed for our amusement.
I’m not sure why, but this year I feel like I’m one of the kids in this video, and the preseason is the marshmallow. I desperately want to eat the marshmallow, but I can’t do it because I want the regular season even more. (I guess for the purpose of this analogy [which really doesn’t add up, but whatever] the regular season would be represented by, like, a thousand marshmallows.)
What I’m trying to say is, the preseason is delicious, and believe me, I want to eat it (wait…what?) but I’m going to keep my steely gaze on October 8th.
I want the good stuff. And now I also want some marshmallows and a Diet Coke.