Mood: Blank. I’m ready to accept whatever the Sabres throw at me, and frankly, nothing could surprise me.
Favorite Sabre: Luke Adam, welcome to the NHL. Please proceed to make Tim Connolly irrelevant.
Least Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek, you disgust me.
Prediction: Annnything could happen here. Sure, the Sabres gave it to the Devils good, but the Devils were SUCH a bunch of coach-killing sad-sacks that night. It’s hard to be all, “Yay! The Sabres are good now!” based on that game. On the other hand, they’re playing a road game so they shouldn’t be tempted to “put on a show” or “get too fancy” for the fans. The Sabres tend to be good when they’re not trying to impress us. (On that subject: Sabres, I think I speak for all of your fans when I say, “Stop saying you get ‘too fancy’ at home. You know what’s fancy? Winning. You guys aren’t fancy at ALL at home.)
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Lemur
I recently went to the zoo to try to see the baby gorilla and instead of seeing gorillas (they were napping or something. Lazy, gorillas) we were totally captivated by a lemur. He was laying flat on his back, sunning his stomach. He looked ridiculous. Then, after we laughed at him for awhile, something startled him and he went from “stoner eyes” to “nervous crazy-eyes” in zero seconds flat. In addition to being amusing, the lemur also gave me an occasion to say, “I don’t understand this guy…..is he like a monkey, or like a rat?” Answer: he’s like a monkey
After the 1st (1-1)
Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek’s shin pad.
Least Favorite Sabre: Daniel Briere is the worst Sabre EVER.
Summary of events: According to Versus, the Flyers have spent the last 24 hours being yelled at by Laviolette, which is weird because they came out pretty flat. Vanek’s shin pad scored a power play goal, which was nice. Then Briere scored a power play goal, and after that they Flyers seemed MUCH better than the Sabres, which was LAME. Montador is wearing a visor, which is foxy (men with functioning eyes are hotttt). Luke Adams looks like he COULD make Tim Connolly irrelevant, which makes me want to do a little happy dance.
Animals representing this game so far: A lemur and John Cleese, chillin’.
A pretty good time. This picture is probably too awesome to represent that period of hockey, but if my post is going to be lemurrific, I HAVE to use this photo, right? What if the Sabres suck in the rest of the game and I never have a reason to post another good-lemur? That period might be as good as it gets tonight. So, if the Sabres play a reasonably solid period, score a powerplay goal, AND Luke Adam pleases, I have NO CHOICE. John Cleese is in.
After the 2nd (45,000-1) (Okay fine, it’s really 4-1, Philly)
Mood: VERY GROSSED OUT
Favorite Sabre: Poor Crunchy. He deserves so much better. I don’t care what Heather B says.
Least Favorite Sabre: Yeah, right.
Summary of Events: Some Flyer scored an UNJUST goal against Crunchy when Briere was skating around behind him in the crease. Then the Sabres proceeded to be COMPLETELY DISGUSTING for the remainder of the period. I kind of lost track of the specifics of the suckiness (I was taking solace in chips and salsa and playing Bejeweled Blitz), but you can safely assume that your favorite Sabre deserves to be fired.
Animal representing this game so far: I tried to find a picture of a lemur projectile vomiting (no, I didn’t really), but no dice. We have to go with this gross baby lemur.
At the End
Dire message to the Sabres: Now look. I know you guys aren’t that good at hockey, and….whatever. I don’t understand why you’re so terrible, but here’s my main point: I don’t really care. I’m currently watching basketball instead of you. BASKETBALL.
Here’s a picture of a baby photoshopped into lemur costume.