Okay, I PROMISED myself, under pain of death (well, okay, not death, but maybe “pain of extreme self loathing”) that I would blog this week, NO MATTER WHAT. According to my calendar, today is Thursday, which makes tomorrow Friday, which means time is running out. So, here I am.
The bad news is, I really don’t have a lot to say. The good news is, damn it, I’ll be saying it in the form of a blog post, come hell or high water.
You will probably notice that for the most part I’m choosing not to address the multitude of tragedies that struck the hockey world over the summer. Please don’t interpret this as a lack of heartfelt and sorrowful consideration. Many times over the last few week I’ve sat down in front of the computer to express sorrow, or to opine on a number of issues, but honestly… I just can’t. There was too much sadness this summer for me to address here. This frivolous blog is no place to be discussing matters of life and death. I just can’t do it. Maybe someday, but not today.
1. I went to the US Open last week with the Ookies, and it was every bit as fun as “going to the US Open with the Ookies” sounds like it might be fun.
I’m no tennis expert, but to my untrained eye, the U.S. Open appears to be a wonderland of tennis. While you’re at the U.S. Open, you wander blissfully around, flitting in and out of matches, and marveling at the enormous spectacle of it all.
We went at the very beginning of the tournament, and I knew from the get-go that we probably wouldn’t be seeing any big stars. This ended up being totally fine with me though, because it turns out I was MUCH more drawn to the tiny courts than I was to any of the bigger venues. I think the coolest thing about the U.S. Open is how close you can get to the action.
I loved the tiny courts, and if I ever return to the U.S Open (I WILL RETURN), I think my game plan will be to just pick a tiny court and camp out there all day long. I will, however, need someone to fetch me cold drinks and snacks so that I don’t lose my seats, so if you’re up to the task, you should come along.
2. For a variety of reasons, ranging from normal-offseason-antsyness to unrelenting-tragedy-and-despair, THIS OFFSEASON NEEDS TO STOP. And guess what? It will! Really soon!
Hockey is almost here now. It’s perfectly reasonable to start anticipating the hockey season. Football starts tonight, and after football, hockey comes right behind. Training camp starts ONE WEEK from tomorrow. Ticket drafts are occurring across the land. Season tickets are available for pickup MONDAY. It’s happening you guys, it’s really happening. Hockey is returning.
3. Along with hockey will come a whole slew of new Sabres, and speaking of those Sabres… I was practically Vile Leino’s landlord. Allow me to explain: My friend’s fiancee’s brother almost rented his carriage house to Ville Leino. I KNOW. Can you imagine how much better this blog would’ve gotten if I had access to a spare set of keys to Ville Leino’s apartment? INFINITELY BETTER. But alas, Ville chose a different apartment.
(Private to Ville Leino: wise move)
(Private to everyone else in the world: I’m just kidding. If, by sheer coincidence, Ville Leino had moved into an apartment owned by a friend of mine, I would’ve employed the super suave move I’ve used for every other Sabre I’ve ever encountered in a real life situation- pretend I don’t recognize him and then hide behind the nearest large object just in case he tries to make eye contact. Not only would I not harass him, I’d probably avoid the entire square mile surrounding his apartment for the duration of his lease.)
4. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m on a diet, but this summer I’ve been sort of trying to watch what I eat. (Can’t you just feel the commitment in that last sentence?) This week I’ve been feeling a little cranky about the lack of delicious desserts in my life. In an effort to stave off the inevitable eating of a genuinely delicious dessert, I bought some Wegmans brand sugar-free pudding yesterday. I just ate one now, and it was truly gross. There was absolutely NO HINT of “delicious dessert” in that little plastic cup. If you’d fed me that pudding in a blindfolded taste test and asked me to identify the substance, I would’ve replied, “…dish soap?”
I do NOT recommend Wegmans brand sugar-free pudding. At all.
5. I ordinarily put “Live Chats” extremely low on my list of things-to-do, but Ted Black’s live chats really are a thing of beauty. Ted Black is legit funny, and he has never, not for even one second come across as a d-bag. In fact, Black seems so at home online that I’ve started to wonder if perhaps he already has a top-secret twitter account, and he’s actually someone we’ve already been interacting with for months. I’m starting to wonder which one of the zillions of Sabres fans on twitter is really Ted Black, just letting it all hang out.
Anyhooch, I recommend these chats. They’re fun. AND, if you’re very lucky, and you pepper Ted and Kevin Snow with enough ridiculous questions/twitter comments, you might get yourself a shoutout.
Yay! It pays to be annoying!