Archive for the 'Bills' Category

Buck Up, Buffalo.

I really think everyone needs to calm the eff down about the Terrell Owens stuff.

If you are honestly surprised/shocked/upset by any of this, well, then this is more of a “shame on you” situation.

Let’s just let this silliness role off our backs.  This doesn’t have to be a sign of the end of civilization as we know it.  This the T.O. Show.  It’s nothing.   It’s nonsense.  It’s absolutely nothing new, and we knew it was coming.

Buffalo needs to buck up, because it’s only going to get worse.  People in far away places are going to make fun of us, and we will have the choice to get all worked up, and act all insecure, or, we can have a sense of humor and let it go.

Look, Buffalo is an easy target.  We’re easy to make fun of.  WHO CARES?  They were making fun of us before Terrell Owens got here too.  It’s no biggie.

Here are the things that are NOT going to happen:

1. People in the media are not going to stop pushing this.  This is money in the bank.

2. Certain Buffalonians are NOT going to stop eating this up.  I’m too lazy to do ANY research, but I’m willing to bet that T.O. has caused a big, undignified scene in every town he’s ever played.  We are not being uniquely stupid.  This stupidity is a worldwide epidemic.

3.  T.O. is not going to be a quiet teammate.

This is the circus we signed up for when we said, “Yay!  Terrell Owens!”  It doesn’t have to consume us and it doesn’t have to make us feel badly about who we are.  It’s show business.

Either ignore it, or embrace it, but please don’t act like this is a surprise.


I’ve been thinking a bit about the NFL draft.

I’m not really a football fan.  I mean, I watch it when it’s on and surrounded by beer and tasty snacks, but I don’t follow it closely, and I certainly don’t care about the NFL draft.  But I do understand the appeal.

Unlike the NHL draft, where the players are drafted as zygotes, and after the draft disappear into Canada to play in juniors (possibly never to be seen or heard from again), the guys in the NFL draft will be on the team next year. If there was a similar NHL draft, and I could be dreaming of a couple of new NHL-ready, beard growing, gritty Sabres, you better believe I’d LOVE that draft.  I’d talk about it incessantly, and I’d devote post after post to all the potential ways we could get rid of half the Sabres and replace them with new, foxy college kids.

I can’t possibly be the first person to point this out, but the Bills drafted a player who looks just like the kid from Bad Santa.  Bad Santa is one of the most heart warming movies ever made, so I think this bodes well for the Bills.

badsanta163 eric-wood2


And that concludes my in-depth analysis of the 2009 NFL draft.  See you next year!

I leave town for three days….

….and when I get home Terrell Owens has his feet up on the coffee table.

There is no way this is going to end well, but honestly, who cares?  It really wasn’t going that well in the first place.  It will definitely be fun before it gets unbearably insane.  Against my better judgment, I’m in.

4 Things

1.  I’m feeling deep sympathy for long time Bills fans today.  Yesterday afternoon I actually wrote a whole blog post joking about how I was feeling really maternal towards broken Bills fans, and how I wanted to cradle all of Western New York to my bosom and gently rock everyone to sleep with reassuring shushes and hopeful promises that someday it will all be okay……but then I listened to WGR for a few minutes at the conclusion of the game, and I heard the callers, and I realized that I do NOT want to rock those drunken angry people to sleep against my bosom, so I axed the entire post.  I wish Bills fans all the happiness and peace in the world, but the bosom thing is a definite “no go”.

2.  It’s amazing how many shifts in attitude one season of hockey can bring.  It’s possible that I was infected with an excess of holiday spirit (I love Thanksgiving), but I enjoyed watching the Sabres as much last week as I have at any point since I became a fan.  I absolutely loved watching the Sabres last week.  I thought they were scrappy, determined, and all-around appealing.

3. I really, really, really, really, really, hope the Sabres scrap the third jersey “schedule” and just wear them at every home game for the remainder of the season.  I’ve written in the past about how I don’t hate the buffaslug, but frankly, now that I’ve seen the new jerseys in action at the arena, I never want to see the team in the slug jerseys again.  Ever.  From the start, I’ve viewed this whole “updated version of the vintage uniform” scheme with unmasked cynicism.  I resent the obvious cash grabbing motivations of the Sabres organization and I have no intentions of buying the new jersey.  That said, I was unprepared for how much an attractive jersey would add to my Sabres experience.  I think the new sweaters look too dark on television, but in person they are freaking glorious.  You may now consider me a convert.  The slug has got to go.

4. I’ll be at the game tonight. (Anne save some green cotton candy for me, please.)  This will be my seventh game already, which is a signifigant increase from my attendance pace from last season.  When I bought all these tickets I wasn’t positive that I’d love such a rigorous game schedule, but I do.  I love it.  I want season tickets, and I want them bad.

Oh, Sweetpea

Bills fans, treat yourselves gently this week.  Take a bubble bath, write in your journals, make sure you get enough sleep.  May I suggest a nice warm cup of hot chocolate?  It’s important that you remember that there is still a lot of joy in the world.



I’m not going to try to make you feel better about the football situation.  While there is still a lot of football left to be played, the Bills have been stinky.  It’s true.  It’s true that the Bills have been horrendous, and you know what?  You deserve better.  You are a strong, fun, awesome person, and you shouldn’t let the Bills get you down.

It’s going to be okay.  Call me if you need anything.  I’m here for you.


Um, that football game was considerably less enjoyable than the games I’ve become accustomed to watching.

Live Hockey (and the Bills are never going to lose again)!!!

First of all, and most importantly: Bills, you kick ass.  Props.


Tonight, thanks to the fabulous (and presumably handsome) Keller, Heather and I found ourselves at the Sabres/Wild preseason game.  Our seats were quite snazzy- certainly much better than the nosebleeds I usually scrounge up. The good thing about the 300s is that you can see the entire rink clearly.  The good thing about the 100s is that you can see Goose all the players clearly.

Good Seats

Keller has foxy seats.

The game was a bit of a snooze (and the Sabres lost), but the view was excellent, and the company was a hoot.  Heather and I will be attending a handful of games together this season, and if the following conversation is any indication, I think we’ll make good game buddies:

Kate: Wait.  Weber is number 4 now?  That’s sad.  I miss Nolan Pratt.

Heather: Yeah.  I don’t know how I feel about this.  I liked Weber as 34.

Kate: Well, 4 is a MUCH better number, so I can’t say I blame him.

Heather: I don’t like single digit numbers.

Kate: WHAT?! I LOVE single digit numbers.  I think 4 is a PHENOMENAL number.

Heather: The only single digit I like is 5.

Kate: Well, you’re an idiot.

Heather: Well, you’re a beeyotch.

Sabretooth stood in our aisle for the national anthem. I had a hard time concentrating on anything else with Sabretooth so near.  How could I possible look away?

Sabretooth Anthem

With his paw to his heart during the anthems.

Speaking of Sabretooth and “ridiculously cute,” the Sabres are now selling the best souvenir EVER- foam Sabretooth paws!  I’m a big fan of the entire foam finger genre, but I am particularly fond of foam paws.  I have a foam claw paw from the Wild game that I attended over Christmas last year, and it’s one of my most prized possessions.  I’m not kidding.  I’m looking at it right now.  I totally love it.  The Sabretooth paws are even BETTER because instead of ferocious claws, it’s just has that nice round Sabretooth paw print.  Very friendly and cute.  There were a couple of guys a few sections over who had them and Heather and I were totally preoccupied with watching them high five with the paws whenever something good happened on the ice.  After the game was over we hightailed it to the gift shop, but they were sold out already.  Note to the Sabres organization: we demand foam Sabretooth paws, and we demand them NOW.

Okay, about the game:

– Good Max/Bad Max was in full effect.  Max was all over the place, being speedy and awesome and generally enigmatic.  I was either in love with him or hating him all night- nothing in between.  Mostly loving him though.  I predict that Max is going to have a great year if only so the people of Buffalo have something to freak out about come July 1st 2009.

– The less said about Staffy the better.  I still believe.

– Nathan Gerbe is reDONKulously small but he’s got moxie to spare.  He’s got tinytude, if you will.

– I might be a little bit in love with Craig Rivet.

– Patrick Lalime seems like a perfectly serviceable backup NHL goalie.  I felt generally comfortable with his play all evening and he made a few nice stops.  The shootout felt a little less secure, but that might just be my scars from watching all those terrible shootouts last season talking.  Those wounds might never heal.

– Pommerdoodle started the game with the C but after the second intermission it was gone.  This prompted Heather and I to discuss a scenario in which the C is attached with velcro so that Lindy can rip it off the chests of errant Sabres during the intermission if he is suitably disgusted with their play.  I think the idea of a sad, lonely C on the floor of the lockerroom is quite amusing.

– Goose jammed his thumb punching a Wild player repeatedly in the face.  Totally worth it.

-I feel very strongly that the teams should wears whites at home.  I really like the Wilds’ red and green jerseys, and I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to see them tonight.

– About all these Wild prospects that I was asked to keep an eye on…….I had a hard enough time keeping track of the unfamiliar Sabres prospect, much less the Wild prospects.  I’m afraid I have very little too report about the Wild players.  They seemed to be mucking up the neutral zone quite nicely, but beyond that, I don’t have much to report, EXCEPT for the charmingly named “Clutterbuck”.  Yesterday in the comments, ms. conduct asked me to keep a particularly close eye on Clutterbuck figuring that he might be easy to spot because of his cartoonish name.  Well, not only did we SPOT Clutterbuck, but we spotted a CLUTTERBUCK SIGN.  How ridiculous is THAT?  There was a woman in the arena holding a sign that said simply, “Cal Clutterbuck”.


We’re thinking the sign holder must be his mother or something.

As for Clutterbuck’s play, I was far too busy trying to take a picture of his sign and coveting foam Sabretooth paws to really notice.  Sorry!

– Pre-season hockey is very fun.  It’s downright relaxing.  Thanks again to Keller for the tickets!

…A Blog About the Buffalo Sabres

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