Archive for the 'Olympics' Category

Draft Post

I try to jot down little blogging ideas as they flit through my brain because if I don’t I forget all about them.  This is especially important when I’m watching something like the Olympics and I’m writing about things that I know next to nothing about- like curling.  If I don’t write down my randoms thoughts down, I forget I ever thought them.

Ordinarily I’d make a small list of little observations as a draft and then flesh it out later in a “Things” post.  For some reason, I think this short list is funnier without elaboration.  (Make sure to follow the link.)


– I think curling is my best last chance for becoming an Olympian.  It’s never too late.

– Jeremy Roenick vs. Mike Milbury.  Maybe it will come to blows? *fingers crossed*

– I hope the curlers are getting laid right and left in the Olympic Village.


What I Think About the Olympics Today

– Every d-bag hipster in the world claims to like curling, and as a result, I’ve been scoffing at curling for years.  Well, today I finally got around to watching curling, and you know what?  Call me a douchebag hipster, but curling really is pretty fun.  It’s oddly mesmerizing.  You certainly couldn’t call it action packed, but it held my interest for HOURS this afternoon.  I’m a convert.  I totally love watching curling, and unlike every single other sport in the world, I’m vaguely interested in learning to curl myself.  I know!  I’m such a jock!

– Olympic hockey is a hoot and a holler.  I really wasn’t sure that I’d enjoy it, but I looooooved seeing Crunchy out there in his USA uniform.  It very cool to see him in a different role for a different team.  I also liked seeing him wear number 39.  He seemed extra sassy in that number.  Maybe he should switch!

The Canada/Norway game was less fun, but I suppose it was inevitable.

– Speaking of Norway….A few years ago I took an audition in Norway, and I would have moved there had I won the job.  Because of my trip and because I’m ridiculous, I consider myself semi-Norwegian.  I like to root for the Norwegians.  If it’s a man, I assume he would have been my boyfriend had I moved to Norway.  If it’s a woman, she probably would have been my Norwegian BFF.  Go Norway!

– I had planned on writing a whole post about how I think pairs figure skating is the best Winter Olympic sport because of the costumes and the often hilariously vicious body language between the pairs who screw up, but right now I’m watching the men’s short program, and I’m full of doubt.  THIS might be the best sport in the Winter Olympics.  The male divas!  The huge jumps!  The sequins!

– When the Ookies were here someone noticed that Dick Button wears the BIGGEST shoes on earth, and now whenever he’s on screen all I can see are his giant clown shoes.

6 Things

1. I had the BEST weekend.  Schnookie and Pookie came to visit from New Jersey, and Heather essentially moved in for the weekend.  Then, last night Amy and McGuffer’s came over and we all snarked about the pairs short programs.  Thanks for a great weekend, guys!

2. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  The Sabres are gone, and the Olympics are here!  You may recall from the 2008 Summer Olympics that I am a BIG fan of all things Olympic-y.  I love the weirdie sports, but I’m not going to lie, my curiosity about Olympic hockey is reaching a fevered pitch.  I can’t WAIT to see Crunchy in action tomorrow, and I looked at the Canadian roster this afternoon and for the first time the fourth line of Toews-Iginla-Richards really sunk in.  That. Is. Insane.  (I’ll be rooting against Canada though.  Not sure why.  I guess just because a Canadian loss would provide the highest possible levels of schadenfreude.  What can I say?  I’m a beeyotch.)

2. In several minutes I will be PASSIONATELY rooting for that old geezer Chinese couple to win the gold in figure skating pairs.  I think they’re the cutest.  No schadenfreude there, please.

3. Sports that I think are dumb: luge/bobsled/skeleton, and ski jumping.

4. Sports I think are surprisingly AWESOME: Everything involving cross-country skiing.

5. Johnny Moseley is hilarious to me.  I wish he called all of the events.  He sounds like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and I love him.  I spent the duration of the moguls events echoing everything Moseley said with, “Duuude” at the end.  I’m sure that wasn’t annoying at all.


When I was in college, and things seemed more stressful/horrible/dramatic than we could handle, my friends and I would remind one another that, “All of this,” and then we’d wave our hand indicating the entire college campus, “is just a passageway to bigger and better things.”

Sabres fans, this (*waves hand at the six game losing streak and the horrible train wreck that is the Buffalo Sabres*) is just a passageway to bigger and better things.

I certainly can’t guarantee that this passageway leads to the Cup or even A SINGLE WIN EVER IN THE FUTURE OF THE SABRES EVER EVER EVER AGAIN, but I can promise that we have some good things in the future.  Namely, the Olympics.

Thankfully we’re about to get a break.  We’re getting a break, and during this break we can obsess over far, far stranger sports, and we can find new heroes, and best of all, we won’t have to watch the Sabres lose.  (Actually, I assume we’ll be seeing LOTS of Sabres losing, but they’ll be losing for other teams, so who gives a rip.)

Just hold on Sabres fans.  We’re almost there.  Just one more loss game to go, and then we’re HOME FREE.  Soon it’s all figure skating, and bobsledding, and that weird sport where they ski and then shoot things.

We can worry about this unsightly mess (*waves hand at the Sabres*) later.


My friend Dinesh and I had the following conversation tonight while watching the men’s 400 meter race:

Dinesh: I wonder what the coaching for these events is like.  I mean, I wonder what they work on.  (speaking as a track coach) “That was great Usain.  Now if you could just do that again, only this time…..go faster.”

Kate: (also speaking as coach) “You look good, but I think what you want to aim for a little more speed.  Try it again, only try running a bit faster.”

(pause as we watch the race)

Dinesh: (shaking head sadly, but still speaking as coach) “Damn it.  You know, I really should have told him to run faster…..He could have won that race.”


Yes, we think we’re pretty funny. :)

Tennis, and Track, and Synchronized Swimming. Oh My.

1. I want to make sure I acknowledge that Max Afinogenov’s main squeeze won a tennis gold medal in the women’s singles at the Olympics. That’s pretty cool. Elena Dementieva is clearly an alluring badass, and I like Max a little more because he dates her. It’s every professional athlete’s right to GOP out and find themselves a hottie, but Max went out and found himself a hottie who can actually do something. I appreciate that about him. Max’s girlfriend won a GOLD MEDAL at the Olympics this weekend. That rocks. She rocks. Max rocks by association.

2. Aw, man. Tonight was the first night of true Olympic heartbreak for me. I was so sad for the track ladies! Sanya Richards and then the plucky hurdler Lolo Jones, BOTH came up short despite being favorites in their events. Lolo tripping over the second to last hurdle when she was so close to a gold medal was particularly tough to witness. I can’t say I’ve ever been too enthralled with track and field events in the past, but this year I’ve really enjoyed watching the running events. I find the incredible fierceness of the track women very inspiring, which is why it was such a jolt to the system when they switched directly from track to gymnastics on the NBC broadcast. After the track ladies, the gymnasts looked like creepy little wind-up toys. (But, America can finally breath a sigh of relief. Shawn Johnson has her gold. You can stop rioting in the streets now.) Obviously, the gymnasts are world class athletes too, but their tininess combined with the glitter and the hair scrunchies just made them seem infinitely undignified when viewed in quick succession with the track events. (Farewell, bizarro gymnastics! Until 2012, I bid you adieu!)

3. This is just a friendly reminder: SET YOUR DVRS TO RECORD THE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TOMORROW AT 6PM ON THE OXYGEN NETWORK. I watched a bit of the synchronized “duet” preliminaries today and this event is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. It is NOT to be missed. Not only is it the event totally nutso, but Robin, my current roommate, is a former competitive synchronized swimmer, so I have a live-in expert. Yeah, you heard me. Robin isn’t just a Juilliard trained bassoon player and high-powered advocate for disadvantaged children, she is also a FORMER SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER. (Don’t even ACT like you’re not impressed/intimidated by her foxy skill set.) Robin promises that the duet competition is totally lame in comparison to the team competition, which BLOWS MY MIND because the duet prelims were quite possibly the most spectacularly freakish thing I’ve ever seen.

Here’s a teaser (all photos sneakily swiped from

Sync swimming 2

Jazz hands are just the beginning.

sync swimming 3

Look at their freaky toes! They have jazz feet!

Sync swimming 4

For some reason they all wear tranny whore make-up. I don’t know why.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least, behold the 2008 US Synchronized Swimming Team. Behold!

Sync team

*stunned silence*

2 Things

1.  Is is just me, or is Jenn Stuczynski’s pole vaulting coach a bit of an a-hole?  Scolding Jenn while he was mic’ed up was completely lame, and I kind of wish she had just punched him in the face.  I hate that guy.  If I decide to take up pole vaulting tomorrow, and in four years I win a silver medal in London, my coach better be a whole lot nicer to me than that.  He (or she) better give me an enthusiastic high five and then take me out for a delicious cheeseburger and about a hundred vodka sodas.  Afterwards we can drunkenly run around London letting strangers pose with my silver medal and periodically stopping to “WOOOOOO” and jump up and down with joy.  On the way back to the hotel, my coach will make some kind of joke about how, unlike gold, silver matches most of the jewelry I already have, and that gold is kind of fugly anyway, and aren’t I SO GLAD I didn’t wind up with a hideous gold medal- or, god forbid A REVOLTING BRONZE?!  Then we’d laugh and laugh about how silver is totally the prettiest of all the “precious medals”, and by the end of the night I’d be convinced that silver medals are WAY better than gold medals.  My pole vaulting coach is going to be so cool.  Jenn, your coach is not good enough for you!

2. The sputtering outrage of the NBC gymnastics commentators was fairly hilarious tonight.  Don’t get me wrong, if I were judging that competition that’s not how the medals would have been awarded. (The third place Chinese girl would have won first, Nastia would have won second, and the gold medal winner would have won the bronze.)  The judging did seem a bit out of whack, but the tiebreaking method was very clear.  Even I, a half-wit violist, now understands how a gymnastics tiebreak works.  My favorite part of the whole fiasco was how, after about half an hour of Tim Daggett and Al Trautwig and carrying on about the INSANITY of the INCOMPREHENSIBLE judging, and the TRAGEDY of Nastia being ROBBED on such an OBSCURE technicality as an IMPOSSIBLE to comprehend TIEBREAK SYSTEM, they were all, “Back to you Bob,” and from the studio Blob Costas kind of shrugged and said, “Well, there was a tie, but the tiebreak seemed pretty straight forward.”  Heh.  I absolutely love to watch gymnastics, but gymnastics and the industry surrounding gymnastics is totally stupid.

UPDATE: I guess Blob was talking about the men when he made his little crack about the tiebreak being straight forward.  Don’t you love how I have no problems blogging about something to which I was barely paying attention?  Don’t you feel good knowing you can always turn to TWC for the very least true information?  Heh.  One of my favorite things about the Olympics is that they seem to encourage us to have very strongly held opinions about crap we know nothing about.  I don’t care if Blob Costas agrees with me, in the true spirit of the Olympics, I’m going stand by my uninformed opinion: gymnastics are gloriously stupid. (And the bronze medalist should have won gold.)

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