Archive for the 'Anaheim Ducks' Category

Sabres @ Ducks 1/19/10


Mood: I started out the evening all “WOOOOOOOOOOO!” because I had a MAJOR home improvement breakthrough today.   You see, when I pulled up the carpet (weeks ago) there was this REALLY sharp wooden strip around the perimeter of the entire downstairs.  I guess this is how the carpet stuck to the edges of the floor (along with 45 million staples).  I’ve been totally ignoring this project because every time I got down on my knees and attempted to use the tiny crow bar the guy at Home Depot told me I should use for this activity, I quickly wanted to KILL myself because of the brain searing frustration.  Seriously, last week I struggled for about an hour on a three foot strip.

But today I wised up.  I went BACK to Home Depot, and I looked long and hard at all of their crowbar/prying-looking-things, and I chose the one that I thought would get the job done- and guess what?  That baby popped these annoying carpet strips RIGHT OUT.  You should have seen me zooming around the room all triumphant and proud.  It might have been the most satisfying moment of home ownership so far.  I solved a problem I’ve been avoiding, and now my floors won’t tear my guest’s feet apart!  Hooray!

The only problem is, in my zeal for this project, I probably went a little faster than I should have, and I wound up giving myself several cuts and scraps with various decades-old nails and tacks.  It was…very dumb.  Especially after I started wondering if my tetanus shots are up to date (they are not).  (Incidentally, if you think you might have tetanus, do yourself a favor and DON’T google it.)

So, the long and the short of it is that my good mood was really tempered by my SURE case of impending lock-jaw.   It all balanced out, and now I’m back to “neutral” on the evening.

Favorite Sabre: Oh, Tyler Myers.  Everyone loves you.  Including me.
Least Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek.  I actually pretty much love Thomas Vanek lately, but I REALLY want him to seek professional help with his low self esteem issues.  I’m very tired of watching him berate himself.  It’s time to get serious about this Thomas!  There is no shame in going to a therapist.
Prediction: Originally I was thinking the Sabres were going to lose this game (they have to lose eventually and the Ducks ALWAYS beat them), but now I’m watching the Duck’s pregame coverage, and apparently they have a very feisty streak going themselves- 7 home wins in a row.  I’m always suspicious of streaks, but I think our streaks balance each other out.  Someone has to lose and end their streak, and it might as well be the Ducks.  So, the Sabres are winning this game, 4-2.
Balanced item representing my hopes for this game: All these people on this bike

As you can see, the Sabres are EXTREMELY well balanced.

After the 1st (4-0, Ducks)

Mood: The only thing saving us is that this is a late game and so it barely feels like it’s actually happening.  Plus, it’s so bad it’s funny.  I am however, worried about how I’m going to come up with things unbalanced enough to represent this game.
Favorite Sabre: HAHAHAHA!  Um….no.
Least Favorite Sabre:
Rick Jeanneret.  I don’t CARE if he’s old and worn out, he’s not allowed to take vacations, and he’s not allowed to retire.  EVER.  I blame Rick.
Summary of events: First we got punched in the face, then kicked in the gut, and then CoreyPerry peed on us, and then the Ducks announcers laughed at us.  It was REAL LAME.
Unbalanced thing representing this game so far: The score


Just look at it.  That’s some unbalanced shit right there.

After the 2nd (4-3, Ducks  I KNOW!)

Mood: Completely.  Electrified.
Favorite Sabre: Many, many Sabres are making me love them right now, but mostly, I love Ryan Crunchy Miller.
Least Favorite Sabre: Sorry, Patty. It wasn’t even all your fault. They totally hung you out to dry, but a save or two would have been handy.  Everything calmed waaaay down when Crunchy came in.
Summary of events: Connolly and MacArthur scored two quick goals and made everyone in Buffalo sit straight up in their pajamas and slippies.  Then, the Sabres proceeded to RELENTLESSLY kick ass.  Eventually Montador scored, and now everyone in Buffalo is UTTERLY CAPTIVATED.  (Just as an aside: I’m sorry about your crappy day, Bills fans.  But HOW ‘BOUT THEM SABRES?! )
Item representing the balance of this game so far: wacky teeter totter OF AWESOMENESS

Sometimes you’re an elephant, sometimes you’re a mouse, but either way, CoreyPerry is disgusting.

At the end (5-4, Ducks; Poop.)

Mood: EXHAUSTED.  That game was completely and totally insane.
Favorite Sabre: Ryan Miller you are wonderful
Least Favorite Sabre: Jason Pominville you are fired.
Summary of events: This period was considerably less “totally lawless” than the others but the Sabres had the edge for the ENTIRE time EXCEPT for the split second when Pominville was tossing an ill advised pass that Connolly was totally whiffing on.  That nanosecond completely blew.  But, the Sabres never gave up, and that was a HUGELY entertaining game.  I’m sorry they didn’t win, but I’m pretty proud of them regardless. (Except for Pommerdoodle.  Bad dog.  Bad. *rubs Pommerdoodle’s snout in the terrible pass*)
Balanced thing representing this game: yin and yang

Breath in, breath out.  Breath in, breath out.
We knew they would lose eventually.
It’s all good.

Sabres @ Ducks 2/2/09


Mood: Sweet mother of Lindy Ruff!  EVERY SINGLE DEFENSEMAN IS INJURED!  We have a bunch of TODDLERS playing on the blueline.   PATRICK LALIME is starting! We’re totally effed.  The good news is that this game starts really late.  I love late start games.
Favorite Sabre: Spacek, I didn’t know how much I loved you until you were gone!  Waaaaaaa!  Come back!
Least Favorite Sabre: Spacek, what are you, eighty?  A hip injury is for old men.
Prediction: Andrew Peters and George Parros are going to fight and it’s going to be lame.
Duck representing my hopes for this game: Scrooge McDuck.

bin-dive Remember when we were swimming in healthy defensemen?  We were all, “Oh, defensemen are a dime a dozen.  We’ve got so many of them!  We can just bench the bad ones and swim in the rest.” Well, maybe we should have been appreciating those defensemen instead of swimming in them.  Now all we have are Gragnani, Paetshchsheathschtash, Butler, and Weber.  You can’t swim in guys like that.

After the 1st (1-0, Sabres)

Mood: Pleased.  The Ducks seem content to let our team of AHLers control the game.  Fine by me.
Favorite Sabre: You know what?  I’m normally quite stingy with praise for Patrick Kaleta, and I didn’t really miss him while he was gone…..but it’s kind of nice to have him back.
Least Favorite Sabre: Why is there a pile of puke skating around out there?…..oh wait.  That’s Vanek.
Summary of events: The Ducks are acting like they’re too cool for school.  Ducks, when Patrick Kaleta scores on you, and Andrew Peters gets a legitimate scoring chance, you’re NOT cool.  You’re incredibly lazy.  Lazy, and possibly drunk.
Duck representing this game thus far: Rubber Ducky

w147209607This game is rather pleasant.

After the 2nd, (1-1)

Mood: This game is the OPPOSITE of pleasant.  Everyone is all punchy.
Favorite Sabre: Patrick Lalime, you’re doing well.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jason Pominville, when was the last time you scored?  Bad dog.
Summary of events: The Sabres decided to fight everyone on the Ducks, which would be fine by me if it weren’t primarily Sabres DEFENSEMEN fighting all the Ducks.  Dude!  Craig Rivet, THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE ANDREW PETERS FOR.   If we lose another defenseman to injury Lindy Ruff is going to have to suit up.  Lindy is foxy and all, but he’s a BIT RUSTY because the last time he played in the NHL Abraham Lincoln was president.
Duck representing this game so far: Howard the Duck

howard_the_duck_xl_01-film-b1I know.  He’s EXTREMELY annoying and anyone in their right mind would punch Cory Perry Howard the Duck in the face if they could.  But Craig Rivet, you’re going to have to let Andrew Peters punch on your behalf.

At the end (3-2, Ducks)

Mood: Cranky.  I suppose it could have been worse.  It got kind of interesting at the end.

Summary of events: Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick…..

Duck representing this game:


Maybe the Sabres thought it was just a drill?

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