3 Things (All Ending in “Heh”)

1. Yesterday, about midway through the second period when the score was still 0-0, I turned to Robin and said, “Do you get the feeling that the Red Wings are just toying with us right now?  Like a cat, batting around a half dead mouse just for fun?” In retrospect, I don’t think the Red Wings were really toying with us, they were just sitting back and waiting for the Sabres to make mistakes so that they could swoop in all efficiently Swedish-like, and calmly clobber us.

The Sabres hung on with the Red Wings for the better part of two periods, but in the end, the Red Wings are light years better than the Sabres.  Which is fine, I suppose.  The Red Wings are an elite team, and it’s a rare season when a team can match-up well against the Red Wings of this world.

What we saw last night really wasn’t alarming, it was just evidence of what we already knew- that the Sabres as they are currently constructed, coached, and managed, are….not very much like the Red Wings.  Heh.

2. Last night I sat in row 1, section 201, and let me tell you, it’s a far cry from section 310..  I had never sat in the 200s for a Sabres game before, and it was a fun treat.  Did you know that they deliver food and drinks to you in the 200s?  Meaning, we had a waitress?  Robin had a hot fudge sundae delivered to her seat, which was a perk I simply didn’t anticipate.  (I had many beers delivered to my seat.)

I had been warned that the 200s would feel manicured and sterile compared to the 300s, and this was true, but the people sitting next to us were friendly and knowledgeable, and they didn’t seem too offended when we booed the Detroit goals.  I was half expecting to be surrounded by disinterested businessmen in suits, but come on, this is Buffalo, how suit-y can it be?  Granted it was just one game, but honestly, I like the 200s, and I don’t care who knows it.  I think that in the great scheme of things, I’d probably be happiest in the plain old 100s, but the 200s were NOT without their charms.

If you are a 200 level season ticket holder, and you need a new BFF, you should call me.  Heh.

3. I suppose I should write some kind of obituary on the season, as last night was the death of any reasonable hope of the playoffs, but I’m just not in the mood.  In the end, I think this season will fade quickly from our collective consciousness.   There hasn’t been a ton to grab onto this year, good or bad.  I’m content to let this season slip away quietly- like a guy who you wound up dating a few weeks longer than you probably would have if you had been following your instincts from the start.  Sometimes things end in a big bang of drama, but often things just fizzle away.  This year’s Sabres are TOTALLY the hockey equivalent of the time that guy stopped calling you, but you didn’t even notice it until a month later when you were on the treadmill at the gym trying to remember what it was you were going to pick up at the grocery store on the way home, and you suddenly thought, “Hey, wait a second…whatever happened to the 08-09 Sabres?  Those guys totally brushed me off…..a month ago.”  Heh.

Oh Yeah! Hockey is Fun!

Now that was a hockey game!

I have begun to cheer very much for the Red Wings, and very much against the Penguins. I can’t quite explain it except that I’m really in awe of the machine-like efficiency of the Red Wings, and frankly, the Pens get on my nervies. From my rooting perspective, that game completely blew.

BUT WHAT A GAME!

I’d prefer that the Red Wings win, but I’m not going to get my undies in a twist over this series. I don’t care enough about either of these teams to get too worked up over the actual outcome. Over the last few days, it’s only been out of a sense of obligation that I’ve trudged along blogging about the Stanley Cup Finals. I’m worn out on hockey without the Sabres. I’m looking forward to a summer of blogging about utter NONSENSE. It’s going to be glorious, non-stop, Sabres related hogwash….but tonight was a fun reminder that hockey kicks ass, and soon it will be gone, so I’ll live it up while I can. Damn that was a good game.

(On an unrelated note, I can’t believe that they fed them pizza during the intermissions of a triple overtime game.)

In Defense of the Wings

[EDIT: I wrote this post in about half an hour, under very rushed conditions, which is something I am not used to doing. When I got home from work tonight, I reread the post and changed some stuff. I’m not sure what the proper protocol for changing a blog post hours after the fact is, but after a little hemming and hawing, I decided, aw hell, it’s my blog. In the interest of pretending to stand by my work, I am adding this disclaimer: I have fixed [some of] the typos, and softened the tone of the original post.]

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I’m going to delay the “Sid or Geno?” post for a day or so because I am moved to defend the Red Wings, who most of you seem to be rooting against. I understand that the Penguins are the sexier choice, especially if you are under the age of 53 (the average age on the Red Wings roster), but I really must insist that you whipper-snappers take a good look at the Wings before you cast them aside. These old dogs are still feisty. Now, please don’t take this post to mean I will be cheering against the Pens in the Finals. I genuinely like both teams, but for today, I will focus on my affection for the Red Wings.

I now present three rock-solid reasons to love the Red Wings.

1. Chris Osgood:

Chris Osgood is an adorable nerd. We’ve been over this already.

I know, I know, all you Wings haters are squawking “He’s a DIVER! He’s a DIVER!” Totally true. The thing is, that dumb butting/slashing/diving scene was so undignified on so many levels that I have decided to ignore it all together. I’ve wiped the slate clean. I took a Forget-me-not, and forgot the whole thing. The most important thing to remember about Chris Osgood is that he’s a soft spoken, good humored nerd. He probably writes poetry, and love songs. The OTHER thing to love about Chris Osgood is that he wears a plain, non-hideous helmet, unlike pretty much every other goalie in the league. [EDIT: I removed something from this paragraph that I didn’t like after a little reflection. It was too mean. If you are dying to know what I removed, email me, and I will tell you. Otherwise, you can go ahead and assume the worst: I was advocating eating puppies, but now I’ve changed my mind. :P]

2. Pavel Datsyuk’s head:

I stole this image from The Battle of California

Of all the things, on all the hockey blogs that I’ve read this year, this side-by-side comparison of Pavel Datsyuk and a candy corn from The Battle of California might be my favorite. Pavel Datsyuk’s head is shaped exactly like a candy corn, and I love him because of it. When the always hilarious RudyKelly wrote the post containing this brilliant observation, he was trying to use this as evidence against Datsyuk, but his plan hideously backfired. I now love Datsyuk almost exclusively BECAUSE of his candy corn shaped head. (Interestingly, there’s a comment from me on the original BoC post claiming outrage. I think I must have been trying to impress RudyKelly at the time. That comment is a gigantic lie. I’m not offended, I never was, and I love Datsyuk’s candy corn head. [Sorry, Rudy])

3. They’re so fucking juggernautty.

Normally, I HATE teams who always win (for example, if you are not from New England, and you rooted for the Patriots this year, I think you are probably a tool), but there is something about these Red Wings that I love. I want to believe in this Red Wings team. I want to believe that some hockey teams don’t choke, and don’t bend under lofty expectations, and really are as good as they seem. I’m sure I will hate them next year. As soon as they win the Cup, I will hate their guts, but I’m kind of in the mood to see a genuine juggernaut kick some ass. I want to be awed, and the Red Wings seem like the best bet in that department.

Ladies And Gentlemen, Your 2008 Stanley Cup Final:

Now we know what we’re dealing with. We are dealing with the Penguins and the Red Wings.

Deal with it, people.

As a fan of a non-playoff team, I have to admit, it’s been hard to stay focused during the playoffs. Oh, I’ve watched as much as I can, but my heart hasn’t really been in it, and my allegiences have been ALL over the place. One second I’m rooting for the Flyers, then the Habs, then the Stars, the the Wings, then back to the Stars, and then “Hey! Hi Penguins!” This all would have been so much easier if the Sabres had hung in there and MADE THE PLAYOFFS, but we make due with what the Hockey Gods hand to us, and this was not Buffalo’s year.

My Hockey Gods, why hast thou forsaken me?

Things are starting to look up though, because I find that I’m genuinely excited about the Finals. Say what you will about the teams in question, but we’re getting close to the Cup again, and that is fun. Someone’s going to lift that puppy up over their head, and it’s either going to be a bunch of kids too young to drink, or a bunch of deserving veterans. Either way…fun!

On the one hand we have the Pittsburgh Penguins: Young, insanely talented, feisty, untested, cute as a bug’s ear (especially Talbot).

On the other hand, we have the Red Wings: Old, professional, experienced, efficient, sexy (if you ignore Chelios).

I like them both! I TOTALLY want Malkin to score a million goals, but I also want Chris Osgood to be dazzling. I want Sid to have his way, but I want Lidstrom to be freakishly great. I honestly have no idea who I’ll wind up cheering for, and I don’t think I’ll know until the Finals begin. It’s possible I’ll just be cheering for whoever lost the game before. (Interestingly, I can pretty much guarantee I’ll hate both of these teams next season. These Finals feel like a wacky summer camp romance. I’m living it up while I can, future be damned.)

Since the NHL has retardedly considerately given us until Saturday before resuming hockey, I’ll be examining each of our Stanley Cup contenders over the next few days. Tomorrow: Sidney or Geno? What’s your flavor?