Open letter to the powers-that-be at HSBC arena.
Dear Powers-That-Be At HSBC Arena,
I am writing this email with grave concern in my heart. GRAVE! CONCERN!
I attended the Sabres preseason game against the Flyers last night. Great fun was had by all (except the Flyers) for the majority of the evening, but there was one incident that made me want to curl up on the arena floor in terrible, terrible shame.
The arena played, “Chelsea Dagger”.
CHELSEA DAGGER IS THE BLACKHAWKS SONG. TO HAVE IT PLAYED IN OUR ARENA IS HUMILIATING FOR FANS WITH FUNCTIONING BRAINS AND EARS.
Now look. I know that the Sabres are not necessarily “cool”. We’re not “hip” and we don’t care what the other kids are doing in their arenas with the fancy “ice girls” and the “arena hosts”. In Buffalo our best excuse for “in-game entertainment” is the blooper reel, and that’s the way we like it. (Actually, the blooper reel is getting pretty stale, but whatever. It’s not inherently embarrassing, so I’ll take it.)
I’m not one of these fans that gets all bent out of shape over “Sweet Caroline” (IT’S A RED SOX SONG!), or “Born in the USA” (IT’S A PROTEST SONG!). For the most part, the rinky-dink nature of the arena entertainment does not bother me in the slightest. In fact, I prefer it. After all, I’m a real hockey fan. I do not require bells and whistles to keep me entertained while at a hockey game.
But Powers-That-Be At HSBC Arena, there is a difference between “rinky-dink” and “totally embarrassing,” and last night you crossed the line. When you played “Chelsea Dagger” during the game I felt soul-scorching embarrassment. Deep seated shame. Utter humiliation. Even though the Sabres were beating the Flyers 400-2 at the time, I’m willing to bet every SINGLE Sabre in the arena thought to himself, “THEY WOULD NEVER PLAY THIS SHIT IN PHILADELPHIA. SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS A FLYER. IN PHILADELPHIA AT LEAST THEY HAVE CLASS AND DIGNITY.”
“Chelsea Dagger” is the Blackhawks song. It will ALWAYS be the Blackhawks song. In 50 years, when passionate Blackhawks fans want to reminisce about the good old days, they’re going to take out their Fratellis records, and listen to “Chelsea Dagger”. The Sabres cannot have that song. The only way to have a song like that is to play it all season long as the goal celebration, and then WIN THE STANLEY CUP. You don’t “copy” Chelsea Dagger, you EARN IT. Unless you’re the Chicago Blackhawks you can’t play “Chelsea Dagger” without looking like a MAJOR TOOL.
When you play “Chelsea Dagger” during the Sabres games you’re not saying, “Go Sabres!” you’re saying, “Go Blackhawks!” To play it during a Sabres game is nothing short of pathetic.
But let’s take a deep breath, and try to calm down. Last night was just a preseason game (and a SUPER awesome one at that). We’re all still shaking off the summer rust. I’m going to forgive you for last night. I’m going to assume you just suffered a temporary lapse of judgment and reason. But, I see that the Blackhawks will be playing in Buffalo very soon, and as God is my witness, if you play that song I will never forgive you. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SHRILL IN THE WORLD TO PROPERLY CONVEY MY SHRILL-NESS ABOUT THIS ISSUE.
If you play that song, I’m going to start lobbying for the Sabres to trade Ryan Miller. No team with a beating heart at its core would play “Chelsea Dagger,” during a Blackhawks game, and no team without a beating heart at its core deserves Ryan Miller. THAT’S HOW SERIOUS THIS IS.
I am BEGGING YOU, please DO NOT ever play that song in HSBC arena ever again.