Archive for the 'Trades' Category

Happy Trade Deadline Day!

Today might be my favorite day of the hockey year.  July 1st is fun in theory, but trade deadline day is a whole lot dishier in terms of drama.  Plus, this year we have a new owner who is like, “Here’s a lot of money for you to spend, Darcy.  Go crazy. Do you think you might need more money? Because I have more. You know what’s probably easiest? Here’s my credit card. Just go nuts. And buy yourself something pretty while you’re at it.”

Over the last week or so I’ve been trying to brace myself for a typically restrained trade deadline day, because honestly, “restrained” really seems like it’s part of Darcy’s genetic code, but perhaps I’ve misjudged him. He’s already traded for a new guy!

Welcome to Buffalo, New Guy!

He looks nice!  His name is Brad Boyes.

Brad Boyes is a little confusing because these are his lifetime NHL stats:

What the eff, Boysie?

It’s a bit difficult to figure out what we’re dealing with here, but I don’t think there is any cause for alarm because as of right this minute, Boyes is the second highest scoring Sabre on the team.  (I know. Freaky. Why don’t we have anyone who can score?)  The big news is that he’s got another year at $4 million left on his contract.  So, if Boyes scores +30 goals next season we’ll call Darcy a genius.  If he scores 14 goals… not-so-much on the whole, “Darcy’s a genius” thing.

Since the real risk of Brad Boyes is his bloated salary, and we’re spending Uncle Pegula’s money here, I like this deal.  It’s fun to get a new player, and I think we can all agree that the Sabres need some fresh blood, even if that blood is a little on the streaky-for-entire-seasons-at-a-time side.  I’m just going to do the optimistic thing and cheerfully assume that Boyes will benefit from a change of scenery and a contract year.


Hopefully this is just the tip of the iceberg and somehow we’ll end up with all the good players in the league by the end of the day.  Fingers crossed, Sabres fans!

Sing-sing voice: *awwwk-wwward*


Welcome, New Guy!

Hey, look at this guy.  He’s a Sabre.

“Hey ladies.”
*finger guns*
“My name is Raffi Torres.  I am now Buffalo’s lead scorer.”

Nathan Paetsch is now a Blue Jacket, and Clarke MacArthur is now a 3rd and 4th round draft pick, so we must say their eulogies.


Nathan Paetsch, your face is pleasingly round, and you always seem so polite and cordial.  Your ability to play almost any position on the ice will be missed, as will your helmet that you had Chara autograph after he dented it with a slapshot.  We wish you well in Columbus.  Good luck with the co-eds and the ice girls.  Please send Rick Nash my best.  Thank you for your service to the Buffalo Sabres.  Amen.

Clarke MacArthur, you have frustrated me many times over the years, and your ridiculous hair makes you look perpetually stoned.  You do, however, have a good nickname.  “The General” will be missed.  We wish you well in Atlanta.  I’ll look for you in the Atlanta airport when I fly Delta.  Good luck with the traffic and the heat.  Please send Max Afinogenov my best.  Thank you for your service to the Buffalo Sabres. Amen.


In other news, we probably all owe Darcy Regier a wee bit of an apology.  He DID something!  Yay!

So, Darcy, sorry we all doubted you, and thank you SO MUCH for not re-signing Henrik Tallinder and telling us it’s the same as a big trade.  Seriously.  This is so much better than that would have been.

Trade Deadline Day Cover-It-Live-A-Palooza ’10

Okay folks, here is the big scrolly, clicky window of chattiness.  Go crazy, but remember to stick to the TWC-approved talking points:

  • The Sabres should get BETTER today, not worse.
  • It’s okay by us if the Sabres want to “go for it” this year.
  • It’s okay by us if they want to be cautious, as long as they don’t also expect us to believe that the current top six will magically improve (unless there actually ARE black magiks involved- then maybe we’ll buy it.  Maybe).
  • We promise not to freak out later because Toni Lydman and/or Henrik Tallinder “got away for nothing”.  Playing through the season is NOT nothing.
  • Derek Roy can and should be traded- preferably for Zach Parise.
  • Ryan Kesler WANTS to be a Sabre.  Who are you to deny him his dream, Darcy?
  • It’s perfectly fine to understand that there is little-to-no chance Darcy will do anything flashy and STILL vocally demand wish that he would.
  • Wanting a big trade but also being unable to point to a single available player that you’d want to trade for is a totally reasonable position.
  • Ryan Miller deserves a great team.
  • We do NOT, I repeat, we do NOT think getting a healthy Kaleta back is the same as a trade.
  • If we could can get anything, it should probably be offense.
  • We can be grown-ups about this, no matter what happens.

TOTALLY LAME UPDATE: Apparently you can’t use CoverItLive on WordPress hosted blogs.  So, if you want to participate, you have to go to one of these other blogs.

You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

So, git.

The Goose’s Roost
Top Shelf Cookies
Bangin Panger
Hockey Rhetoric
Black and Blue and Gold
Two Minutes for Roughing
Queen City Sabres
Roll the Highlight Film
The Fanatical Fan
Muckers and Grinders
Shots off the Crossbar
Hockey Night in Buffalo
3rd Man In

Time To Trade all the Sabres!

Hooray!  The hockey season is FINALLY over, and now we can get down to the delightful task of trading away all of the old sucky Sabres, for NEW sucky Sabres!  WOO!

I read something interesting on Kukla’s Korner today.  John Madden is going to test the market on July 1st.

I want him!

john_madden footballEw, gross!  Not him!…..


…..HIM!  (disclaimer: he’s only slightly less gross than the football John Madden)

Before you get all uppity and, “He’s old! He’s never been that productive!  He’s on the decline!” I say to you, “I know, but gather ’round and listen to me.”

Seven reasons the Sabres should sign John Madden:

1. Have you EVER seen a Sabre look like John Madden looks in that picture?  No.  No, you have not.  Because most of our  players are little wusses.  I like how beat-up John Madden is willing to get, and I like how he’s got a respectable playoff beard- like a man.

2. The Sabres are in desperate need of a leader, and John Madden seems like one of those “I REALLY WANT TO LEAD” eager-beaver types, like Briere was, only with credibility and a cranky disposition.

3. John Madden has won two Cups.  Two.  And a Selke.  I used to poo-poo the idea that Cup experience is all that valuable, but then I watched two seasons of a team with zero Cup winners, coached by a guy with zero Cup wins and I changed my mind.  The Sabres really need SOMEONE around who knows what it takes to win it all.

4. Here’s what Pookie said when I emailed her about him:

I think his leadership could be really good for a team like the Sabres.  He’s a hard-ass and I suspect he has absolutely no qualms about telling younger players to shape up.  I think he’d love to see himself as a Scott Stevens for a rudderless group.

We HAVE a rudderless group here in Buffalo!

5. Here’s the OTHER thing Pookie said:

You know what his biggest strength to you guys would be?  Coach killing.  He’s been a key player on a lot of classic coach killing teams!

Now, I know that most of you don’t want Lindy to be fired, but I feel strongly about this one.  If Lindy comes back next year, and the Sabres are good, and they all start listening to him again, GREAT!  Lindy’s an awesome dude, and super fun to have around, and it would ROCK if the Sabres stopped sucking.  BUT.  If Lindy comes back, and the Sabres still seem disorganized, disinterested, and all around sucky, SOMEONE needs to be fired, and that someone is usually the coach.  One of the things I HATED about last season was that the players seemed to be coach killing, BUT THEY COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT.  If coach killing is what we need, John Madden’s got the experience to get it done.

Hopefully we won’t need a coach killer next season, but if I have to watch another season of Derek Roy TRYING to kill Lindy and FAILING, I swear to LINDY RUFF I will lose my effing mind.

5. His nickname is Maddog.  The only dog nickname the Sabres currently have is “Pommerdoodle.”

6. According to the Ookies, John Madden is totally humorless and his interviews are all-dour-all-the-time.  Perfect.  Hopefully he’s like that in practices, and on the team plane, and on the bench, and in the workout room, and in hotel rooms, and EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.  The Sabres could really use a dour asshole around.  They certainly responded to Chris Drury, didn’t they?

7. I really believe the Sabres HAVE to pick up a grizzled vet, and we could do a WHOLE lot worse than John Madden.  (See: Guerin, Bill)

(Thank you to the Ookies, fabulous Devils fans, who obviously greatly influenced this post.  By “influenced” I pretty much mean “told me all of this stuff, exactly”.)

You Look Different Today


I can’t believe Timmy woke up on “sign a 9 million dollar contract day” and thought, “I’ll record this day by wearing my polar bear pelt-lined Dickies jacket and my giant knit cap.  I love hats with preposterously small bills.  Especially when worn backwards! ”

Darcy, you nailed it.  Call me.

Going into the trade deadline I was advocating for BIG CHANGE, and that’s really not at all what happened yesterday.  In fact, yesterday was a pretty strong declaration that the Sabres intend to stay the course.

I like it.

I don’t pretend to know why I think the things I do, okay people?  I just have a thought or a feeling about the Sabres, and then I write it down here, on the interwebs.  It’s not for me to attempt to decode the vast mystery that is being a sports fan and a crazy bitch.  I just report the thoughts and feelings as they occur.

I am happy to report, I love the Sabre again.

I went to the game last night more excited to see the Sabres than I’ve been in a long time, and the Sabres rewarded my enthusiasm with a dominating performance.  Maybe it’s all just the result of seeing Goose spread his mighty wings and pot a shorthanded goal, but the “same old” Sabres are suddenly looking shiny and new.


Hel-lo.  Ales, you look smashing.

RIP, Ales Kotalik

I’m on my way out the door to the game, so I only have a few minutes here, but I feel compelled to salute Ales Kotalik before I go.

Ales Kotalik, you will be missed.  No one can replace your terrifying slapshot and your mega-sultry voice.  I think we can assume the Sabres will never win another shootout again, and that is sad, and more than a little scary.  Your jaunty flavor-saver and your oddly attractive bulbous nose are moving on to Edmonton, and Buffalo shall be a far less sexy place as a result.

Farewell, Ales.  Good luck in Edmonton.  I hear they have a big mall there.  Perhaps you could open a boutique for your hats.  Say, “Katebits says hello,” to all the 1st round draft picks that could have been Sabres if Kevin Lowe’s dastardly plot to steal Vanek had worked.  All the best in the future, and I wish things had ended differently.

Na shledano, my darling.


I….did not see this Timmy deal coming.  That seems like WAY too much money for Timmy.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great deal if there was even a REMOTE chance of Timmy being healthy for an entire season, but, this is TIM CONNOLLY we’re talking about.  If he plays out the rest of THIS season without injury I’ll eat my car.  So, I guess I’m not super wild about this deal.

I’m cool with this goalie situation though.  My problem with Bucky “Biron to the Sabres” Gleason’s scheme is that it would have required giving up Hank Tallinder to get Marty Biron.  I think we can get something better and more useful for Hank, but I do think it’s good that we have a bit more depth in goal now.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for more moves before the deadline.  I want playoffs.

UPDATE: Dude.  Dominic Moore!   I have to go to the dentist!  I don’t want to go to the dentist!

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