5 Things

1. Hockey, as in REAL HOCKEY, played for points, is about to return, you guys.  Towards the end of the preseason, I found myself losing interest.  I can’t bear this fake hockey anymore.  I want to be able to throw myself with abandon at the new season.   I’m totally sick of the whole, “Well, they’re not really playing an NHL roster,” preseason conversation.  I’m sick of other team’s minor leaguers, and I’m sick of talking about our minor leaguers.  If Tyler Myers, and Nathan Gerbe, and Tim Kennedy really want me to care about them, well, it’s time for them to make the team and become honest-to-Lindy-Ruff, big boy Sabres.  I’m in the mood to freak out (both good and bad) about REAL, grown-up hockey!  WOOOOOOO!

2. I don’t even know how to begin dealing with the name of Patrick Kaleta’s charity foundation. “Helping Individuals To Smile,” has totally beaten me.  He’s a good kid, that one.

3. You know who I’m a little worried about?  Steve Montador.  I thought he looked like a big pile of poo in the game against Toronto at HSBC.  Everyone is all “Fire Hank Tallinder!” (fine by me), and “Fire Toni Lydman!” (not-so fine by me), but what about Steve Montador?  Why does he get a free pass to constantly fail to keep the puck in the zone?

4. I will be very disappointed if Lindy and the Gang don’t keep Tyler Myers up for his nine NHL games.  I don’t care if it is Weber’s turn.  Hell, even if they think Weber is the better option right now, I still say let Myers play out the nine games.   Remember how Chris Butler kind of snuck into the line-up and then stole our hearts?  Even if they’re pretty sure Myers isn’t NHL ready right now, it will be good for him to get a real taste, and I think it’s worth it to see what he’d do.  By my calculations, the Sabres don’t have to make the final decision about him until October 29th, and I hope they use every minute of that time to size him up.  I’m totally rooting for him.  Until October 29th, I’ll be marching around my living room, holding a picket sign and chanting, “MYERS!  MYERS!  MYERS!”  (Unless he starts to consistently suck and then I’ll change my chant to “MYERS!  MYERS!  MYERS!….should go back to juniors for another year…”)

5. They said it couldn’t be done, BUT THEY WERE WRONG!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.  THIS IS A PEAR SHAPED LIKE A BABY.

I want a baby-shaped pear so badly.

Sabretooth Needs a Better Lawyer

Kevin Snow (Sabres PR director) confirmed that this is, in fact, the real Sabretooth.  Sabretooth has a twitter account, you guys.

While this is obviously a very exciting development, it also raises all sorts of issues, not the least of which is the shocking knowledge that Sabretooth CAN READ AND WRITE!   Now, I know for a fact that he cannot speak (or perhaps he choose not to?), so the fact that he apparently can read and write in English is AMAZING.

I really think that the Sabres organization should provide him with some sort of computer (or chalkboard) so he can communicate while working at the arena.  He’s compensated for his muteness by becoming a fantastic physical comedian, but, now that we know Sabretooth CAN read and write, I feel we have a moral obligation to give him the tools to do so.  Sabretooth has given us so much, it’s time that his voice was heard!   He should have a little computer with him at ALL TIMES so that he can express himself when banging on the glass, and shooting t-shirts out of a gun is not enough.

For all we know, Sabretooth is a poet.

Blog-o-rama-ding-dong

As predicted, I have thus far spent my morning trying to avoid a very legitimate to-do list by futzing around with my blog.  Today’s unnecessary blog task?  The blogroll.  Specifically, the Sabres blog roll.

First Task: Check blog vitals

To determine if continued inclusion on the blogroll is warranted, I conducted a highly scientific test.  I clicked on each link.  (It’s science!)  If the blog has been updated since March, it was declared Technically Alive.  March 1st was the cutoff.  Shockingly, only ONE blog was declared dead by these very strict standards.  Dueling Sabres, may you rest in peace.

Second Task: Fret about the Mostly Dead

There are a few beloved blogs that have only the very faintest of pulses.  I fear that it is only our love for them that is keeping them here on this mortal plane.  Have fun storming the castle, Side of Pork! Please don’t die!  Come back!  Truuuue love!

I’m also highly concerned about Meet Me @ Chef’s.  I love this blog for a variety of reasons, chief among them that in the web address bar, the name of the blog looks like meetmeatchefs.  Meet Meat Chef’s makes me happy, and I don’t want it to die.  Come back, Rachael!

Third Task: Marvel at the majesty that is Desperation Hockey

Desperation Hockey doesn’t even need to post to keep me in her mesmerizing thrall.  (Did I just use “thrall” correctly?  That word has always confused me a bit.  I decided to throw caution to the wind and bust it out, but it makes me nervous.)

Fourth Task: Welcome the Newcomers

Everyone, please welcome Two Minutes for Roughing to the Sabres blogosphere, where your lovely host Amanda Twentyfive will serve all your yelling-at-the-Sabres-when-they-suck needs.

Fifth Task: Comb the Interwebs for the Undiscovered

By “comb the interwebs” I mean, “write a post on my blog asking if any of you guys are writing a Sabres blog”.  Any and all blogs are welcome, even the perpetually sucky blogs.  Come one, come all.  If you write a Sabres blog, and you have updated since March 1st, you’re in.  One of us, one of us, one of us….

If you want to be included on the TWC blogroll leave a comment on this post, or email me at willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com.

Sixth Task: Sit back and congratulate myself

My talents for avoiding my to-do list remain impressive.  WOOO!

The Truth

When the Sabres lose to the Caps in the preseason it means nothing, but when the Sabres BEAT the Caps in the preseason it means they’re never going to lose again!  WOO!

4 Things

1. Holy TOLEDO do I have a lot going on right now.  My life is a little over the top these days, so if the blog suffers in the next few weeks (and it almost certainly will), I apologize.  On the other hand, in the past I’ve found time for the blog when I was letting everything else fall by the wayside, so, you never know.  I might find myself with a mountain of work, and a million phone calls to make, and a zillion notes to learn, and the sudden, OVERPOWERING urge to investigate some bit of fanciful Sabres news.  Take right now, for example.  I’m supposed to be bringing a bunch of junk over to my storage unit, but instead, I’m blogging.

2. I absolutely adore listening to hockey games on the radio.  A friend of mine recently asked if I can follow the action when I’m listening to the radio and the honest answer was, “No, not really.”  The thing is, I don’t really care about the specifics of the action when I’m listening to the radio.  Hearing sports on the radio is more of a sensory-thing than a sports-thing.  Listening to Rick and Harry and the sound of hockey on the radio is akin to listening to the soft patter of rain on the roof.  Sure, the emotions created are different, but the sound of hockey seems to be directly connected to some cozy, soothing part of my brain.  I don’t mind that these games are not being broadcast on television in the slightest, because I love listening to them on the radio.  It’s a good way to transition back into the hockey season, if you ask me.

3. The good folks over at Buffalo Eats have asked me about my favorite Buffalo vittles, so if you want to read about what I like to eat, I suggest you take a peek over here.  Buffalo Eats is a fun, unpretentious blog about nom-nom-noming your way through Buffalo.  Highly recommended.

4. I made the mistake of reading this article in the Buffalo News, and I’m now considering a full blown Sabres media blackout as a result.  Honestly, they should just stop talking to the press.  They sound like SUCH idiots going on and on about accountability.   “Accountability” reminds me of that old expression, “If you have to ask how much it costs, you probably can’t afford it.”  If you have to repeatedly remind everyone that you’ve got accountability, well, you probably don’t have it.

Just zip it, Sabres.  I’m glad that you guys are going to hold yourselves accountable but it’s OUTRAGEOUS that this is somehow a new concept, so, for the sake of my sanity, SHUT THE BLEEP UP.  That’s right, I said BLEEP.  (Funny side story:  A few weeks ago, in an honest attempt to avoid swearing on my Facebook page I wrote, “This is fu*cking lame.”  Heh.  Whoops.)

He’s Tall AND Persuasive

Scene: Lindy’s porch.  Lindy and Tyler Myers are drinking some frosty beers.

Lindy: Dude, Tyler.  Everyone is talking about you.  Should we keep you up?  Should we send you back to the juniors (where you apparently own the league)?  Are you the future of the franchise?  WHAT ARE THE SABRES GOING TO DO WITH TYLER MYERS?!  It’s kind of redonk.

Tyler Myers: Totally redonk.  (looking down at beer in hand) I don’t think I’m old enough to drink, Lindy.

Lindy: Seriously?  How old are you?

Tyler Myers: I’m thirteen.

Lindy: YOU’RE THIRTEEN?!  FOR THE LOVE OF LINDY RUFF, YOU’RE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THE NHL!

Tyler Myers: No, no, I’m just kidding.  I’m nineteen.

Lindy: Oh….well, that’s not THAT young.

Tyler Myers: That’s what I keep telling everyone!

Lindy: You made some poor choices with the puck on Thursday, kiddo.

Tyler Myers: Well, that’s gonna happen, sir.  I’m a dumb nineteen year old. My doctor says my brains haven’t fully grown in yet.

Lindy: Thank goodness, because you’re kind of stupid on the ice….no offense.

Tyler Myers: None taken.  My brains are underdeveloped…. but not my arms.  I can reach clear across the rink with my stick.

Lindy I saw that.  Pretty sweet.

Tyler Myers: Plus, that was just the first preseason game.  And Lindy, I think I showed that I’m capable of improving quickly in juniors.

Lindy That’s true, you did.

Tyler Myers: And it’s not like you’d be breaking up The World’s Greatest Blueline in order to give me a shot.  These guys kind of suck.

Lindy: (nodding) They sure do.

Tyler Myers: All I ask is that you just let me play for the full preseason and then the 9 NHL games before you decide to banish me to the junior for another year.  Just give me a chance.  I’m sick of juniors.

Lindy: From what I’ve seen of junior hockey I really don’t blame you.

Tyler Myers: Heather B says I need to “fill out”.

Lindy: Well, Lord knows I love Heather B, and she’s got a good point, but what if we’d kept Crunchy down in the AHL until he filled out? He’d still be there!

Tyler Myers: That guy is crazy skinny.

Lindy: (stroking his yellow goatee while contemplating) You know what? You and Crunchy can share your weight gain protein shakes.  You can get one shake with two straws.  That would be adorable!

Tyler Myers: And if I still suck after a month, or I refuse to drink my protein shakes, you can STILL SEND ME BACK.

Lindy: True.

(pause)

Tyler Myers: (taking a swig from his beer) Beer is delicious.

Lindy: Now, see?  You’re SUCH a fast learner, and that beer will fatten you up in NO time.  You’re on you way, kid.

Tyler Myers: Thanks, Lindy.

Lindy: BUT, if you still suck in a month, you do have to go back to juniors.

Tyler Myers: No prob.

Lindy: Alrighty then.  It’s all settled.  And by “all settled” I mean “not settled at all”.

Tyler Myers: Perfect.

Mike Weber: Lindy, there IS another option.  You could go the delayed gratification route.

Lindy: Hm.  That’s true.  It’s funny watching youngsters have to wait for things they desperately want.  Especially via hidden camera.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Tyler Myers: Please don’t do that to me.

Lindy: But it WOULD be fun….

The End

HOOOOORRRRAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!

Hockey, live and up close!

(Hockey not shown in photograph)

I’m tempted to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how incredibly excited I am to have season tickets, but in the name of decorum, I will spare you the giddy details.

I have a lot to say about the game, but I’m exhausted, and I have to get up early in the morning and drive to Olean, so I should go to bed.

Let’s go Buff-a-lo!

A Prayer of Thanks #1

Oh, great and powerful Hockey Gods, thank you for blessing us with a very reasonably priced Drew Stafford for the next two seasons.   Thank you for adding a new faux-fur lined sweatshirt to the Sabres gift shop.  Thank you for giving us Crunchy, who is often badass, and always hilarious.  Thank you for providing open practices.

Most importantly, thank you for not being football.

For thine is the arena and the slapshot and the glory, forever and ever.  Amen.

Let’s Go Buff-a-lo!

Speechless

            
            
            
                        
            
            
            
            
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
            
            
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
            
Dude.            
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
            
            
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
            
Duuuuuude            
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
                        
            
            
            
That was awful.

Holy Saint Francis, Hockey is Back.

I think we can all agree that this offseason was somehow longer, and more arduous than last summer.  In an attempt to shield myself from the pain of the seemingly endless days of the offseason, I shelved “hockey” in some deep dark corner of my brain.  I boxed “hockey” up, and shoved it deep down in there, and I tried not to think too much about it, because a) The Sabres suck ass and I hate them, and b) I miss them so so so so much when they’re gone.

In early August, hockey was just too painful and too confusing to dwell on for long.

I couldn’t go to Puck Drop because today I had an arduous and unavoidable, all-day task scheduled.  It was a LAME day for your humble scribe, so hockey was quite far from my mind.  I spent a minute or two in the morning inquiring via Twitter if Staffy was on the ice, but other than that, I figured my day would be 100% Sabre-free.  But THEN, at about 3:15 when my arduous and unavoidable all-day task unexpectedly ended 45 minutes early, I found myself thinking…”I wonder if the box office at HSBC is still open?”

So, I hopped in the Civic Doody and booked it over to the arena.

HSBC was mostly cleared out, but there were still a few street hockey games going on and the season ticket table WAS still open, so it was with great great great glee that I picked these bad boys up:

They’re rocking a “Ye Olde Tyme Sabres” thing this year

I gotta tell you, those tickets put a mighty spring back into my step.  The stress and annoyance of the arduous and unavoidable all-day task quickly became but a distant memory as it suddenly and joyfully dawned on me, OH MY GOD HOCKEY IS BACK.  I HAVE TICKETS TO EVERY SINGLE GAME.  IT’S BACK AND IT’S NOT GOING AWAY FOR SIX MONTHS.  IT’S A BRAND NEW SEASON.  HALLELUJAH!  HOCKEY IS BAAAAACK!  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

It was clear that they were trying to close the arena down but I would not be deterred.  I HAD TO SEE MY SEATS.  So, I went bounding up the stairs (the escalators were all going down), and tried to nonchalantly slip by the security guard at the top of the stairs, but he wasn’t having it.  I TRIED to charm him, and for a second I thought I had him, but even when I clasped my hands together in “begging” formation, and gave him my best “Pleeeeeeeease can I go look at my seats!  Plllllleeeeease,” (I admit that I exaggerate for comedic effect a LOT on this blog, but I SWEAR on my life that I am not exaggerating now.  I literally begged this man to let me in) he didn’t bend.  All he did was laugh at me- which means he will either be my boyfriend or my sworn enemy by season’s end.  Only time will tell.

So, I still haven’t seen my seats, but that’s okay because HOCKEY IS ALMOST BACK AND SOON I GET TO SEE MY SEATS ALL THE DING-DANG TIME!  WOOOOO!

When I got home from the arena, I was so gung-ho for hockey that I did something that I don’t think I’ve done all summer- I looked at the Sabres roster.

First things first.

Hey, Goose! HONK o’ the morning to you!

I was surprised to realize that I’ve never heard of half the dudes on the Sabres roster right now.  Who are THESE guys?

Oh dear, Paul Byron.  Oh no.

And then there was a pleasant surprise!  Matt Ellis!  He’s still a Sabre?!  Hot diggity!

He’s still a Sabre, but he’s turned tiny over the summer.  Why did they take Matt Ellis’ picture from thirty feet away?  He looks like a kindergartener.

And just like that, with one glimpse at the Sabres website, hockey IS BACK.  What the heck have I been blathering on about all summer?  OUR LONG NIGHTMARE IS OVER!  HOCKEY IS BACK!  Soon, we’ll have scrimmages, and roster photos and GAMES to write about!

Maybe they won’t suck this season!  What?….I SAID MAYBE!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!