I intend to watch the game tonight. If I have something interesting to say while it’s occurring, I’ll put it here. How does that sound? If I don’t have anything interesting to say, I’ll put that here too. Heh.
-I just learned that the year I graduated from high school (1993), Sidney Crosby was playing Timbits hockey. Hm. I’m pretty old.
– Marc Andre-Fleury has successfully navigated the surface of the ice. I repeat, Fleury is on the ice.
– That was an admirable Star Spangled Banner, slutty looking blond lady. Well done.
– Oooh. Sid has that crazy look tonight.
– The Red Wings have that, “Whatever, kid” juggernautty look tonight.
– Ryan Malone has fourteen black eyes.
– Ha! CBC just told us that Kronwall has itty bitty feet, in fact he’s got the smallest feet in the buiness. (Size 6) I was considering switching to VS, but if CBC is going to be all hilarious like this, well then I’m sticking with the Canadians.
– I think Malkin is crumbling under the pressure of being my playoff boyfriend. (1-0, Detroit) Some dude named Stuart, just scored a funny little goal. Stupid Malkin, stupid Flower.
-Okay, remember how I said I was cheering for the Penguins tonight? I’m not so sure I have the resolve to pull it off. I wish that the Penguins didn’t look so bad, but I LOVE how the Red Wing very calmly make everyone look bad. (2-0, Detroit)
-You know, the Sabres must have been really, really bad to miss the playoffs…..in the East.
– The Detroit Red Wings have the best beards in the business. Jordan Staal has a surprisingly respectable beard.
– WWGRD? Take a dumb penalty.
-Q: What have we learned here tonight? A: The Eastern Conference is an embarrassment. Why do we suck so hard? Should we start making all the teams travel unnecessarily out of their way? We hear a lot of whining from the Western Conference about how they have to travel so much in comparison to the Eastern Conference; but, what if that’s what makes them so good? I say we make all the EC teams travel in an Eastern direction, no matter where they are going, until they learn not to be so bad at hockey.
-Shut up, Don Cherry. Just shut up. Never say another thing, ever again. Ever.
– Do the Penguins have any shots in this game?
– Have the Penguins even touched the puck this period?
– I’m seriously considering whether Guitar Hero might be a better use of my time than this game. I can’t beat Slash to get into the Expert level. Slash is just too good. Ever since I found the “Practice” option, Guitar Hero has been so much more rewarding.
– Kid Rock is not aging well.
– The Penguins really can’t buy a goal. On a rare Wings defensive stumble, the Pens fail to score on about fourteen different open nets.
– Why do so many beards grow in red? What is uo with that?
– I’m kind of surprised that Detroit isn’t winning 10-0 by now. I honestly think they are just toying with the Penguins. They’re just batting them around for fun.
– AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! The Penguins only have 19 shots in the last FOUR periods. That is hilariously bad. Poor little Pens. The Wings are just too juggernautty.
– Yay! Kelly Hrudey! Wearing a nice yellow tie! I love this guy! One of the things I find so sweet about him is how he looks squarely at the person he is talking to, as if he’s not actually on television. He is making unrelenting eye contact with Ron MacLean right now.
– Yikes. CBC just gave us a shot from behind of the VS crew. I did not need to see the back of Brian Engblom’s head.
– Okay, I am now wandering all over the internet, looking at other live blogs. I’m forgetting to watch the game.
– I really do like the Red Wings, but Babcock gives me the heebie geebies. Big time.
– One of the “hockeyisms” that I still haven’t gotten used to is the overuse of “time and space”. It sounds so new agey to me. It sounds like something that blond chick Muppet in Animal’s band would say. “You just need to make your own time and space, maaan.”
– Ryan Malone ruins everything, doesn’t he? The Penguins had a promising looking PP going and Malone went charging into the nerd’s crease. 4-on-4.
– Shortie for Detroit! Filppula is out of control!
– Aw, a super sad shot of the Pens bench. Sad Talbot makes me feel sad. That beard should never be sad.
– Hey, wait. That wasn’t a shortie. That was 4 on 4. Aren’t you glad you came here for your live blog? Heh.
– Um, Gary Roberts is kind of a douche.
– I hope the Wings score ten goals on this power play.
– If the NHL wants me to keep watching this game, they had better stop playing Guitar Hero songs in the arena.
– It’s suddenly become very important to me that Gary Roberts not win the Cup. Fortunately, there seems to be very little chance of that happening any time soon. Heh.
– Oh, dear. Everyone is punching everyone else.
– Heh. Osgood seems a little tippy tonight. Such a punky nerd.
– Lilja is VERY attractive
At the End
– For awhile there, this game was hugely boring, but then I accepted that I love the Red Wings, and after that the game became highly enjoyable. Hockey is hilarious! (Sorry, Pens fans.) I’m now rooting for a sweep. I was rooting for an exciting series, but if it’s going to be lopsided like this, I want to see the most dominant performance in the history of hockey. So far, so good. Go Red Wings!