Just Some Stuff

I love the Pens and the Stars. After a year of being emotionally battered by the Sabres, and then the recent failure of the Habs to quickly and easily defeat my enemies, I am LOVING the juggernauty safety of the Stars and the Pens. I’m not going to lie, all I really want is a good bandwagon. I want to cheer for a winning team. This is all hollow and meaningless without the Sabres, so I might as well just label the best teams “my favorites” and enjoy the ride.

In other news, I wrote a Frequently Asked Questions page which can be found in the top menu bar. I’ve been meaning to write a FAQ page for awhile, putting it off because I thought it would be a big annoying chore, but when push came to shove I really couldn’t think of too much to write about. Perhaps I’ve been overestimating the complexity of the TWC universe. Hee.

Second Round Surprises

Well, so far this round has been a lot more palatable than the first in terms of gross teams getting their just rewards. Of the remaining teams, I am cheering for the Pens and the Stars, so obvy those series have been pretty enjoyable thus far, but I’ve been surprised by two realizations this week:

1. I like the Red Wings. I like their uniforms, I like their robot-Swede vibe (I can barely tell the Zetterstroms and the Linsburgs apart), and I just like their general, juggernaut-with-a-side-of-annual-playoff-disappointment “thing”. Like I said, I’m rooting for the Stars in the West, but I find I can enjoy some Red Wings if necessary. Although I really know nothing about him, I downright adore Chris Osgood. If he’s an asshole, don’t tell me, because I don’t want to know. My affection for him is due entirely to this picture:

Look! Nerd glasses! He’s my people!

I’m woman enough to admit that I’m grasping at straws here with Chris Osgood. I’m trying to keep my options open to increase the likelihood that I will be able to cheer happily for someone in later rounds. Sue me. (But seriously, GO STARS!)

2. The Canadiens took a mighty tumble in the first round in the battle for my affection. I thought I loved them, I swear I did…..but no. If they would STOP SUCKING, I would probably love them again, but as it stands right now, I do not love them. Carey Price makes me sad. I didn’t particularly enjoy the pre-playoffs perception that he was “unflappable” because 20-year-old boys should not be unflappable. That’s just weird. Now that he has been, um, flapping, I just feel bad for the poor kid.

I was cheering for the Flyers in the first round and I found cheering for them to be remarkably easy, but those days are over. I hate them again. The fact that the Flyers are still putting up a decent fight in the post-season is reactivating my frustration over the Sabres. We were within a few points of the Flyers for a lot of the regular season, and now the Sabres are done, and the Flyers are not, and it’s PISSING ME OFF. Watching the Flyers win playoff games is an unwelcome reminder that the Sabres really SHOULD have made the playoffs this year. I JUST WANT THE FLYERS TO GO AWAY NOW.

So I find myself in an odd position: both of these teams leave me feeling cold. Theoretically, I want the Habs to win, but I find them too frustrating to cheer for, so it’s not very fun. I can’t wait for this one to be over. This series is the new Caps/Flyers series. Everyone else is freaking out about how entertaining it is, and I can’t bare to watch it for two seconds.

3. I can’t BELIEVE that Chris Drury isn’t growing a playoff beard! What a waste. Honestly, I can’t even remember why I used to like that guy. Heh.

4. I miss the Sabres.

Chicketty Check It

I’m having a busy day and I won’t be watching the game tonight, so in lieu of TWC content, I will direct your attention to ModFan, where the Ookies and I recently had a conversation about the top-secret spy skillz of Drew Stafford. (spoiler alert!) He’s, um,  not a very good spy.

HNIC Towels

I thought this story (discovered via Kukla’s Korner) was incredibly cute. Apparently, the HNIC towels that we see draped over the shoulders of NHLers in interviews are highly coveted status symbols for the players. Hockey Night In Canada keeps them under tight lock and key, and the only way to get one is to appear on camera in an interview, and the only way to get interviewed is to be extra awesome in a game. Most of the NHLers grew up watching HNIC, and the towels seem to represent a dream realized.

You can’t buy that towel at Bed Bath and Beyond.

How badly do you want a HNIC towel now? I really really really want one of those towels. Due to the fact that I’m old, out of shape, a woman, and severely unathletic, I have very little chance of becoming a professional hockey player. It seems highly unlikely that I will ever be the recipient of the coveted HNIC towel….but that didn’t stop me from imagining having it draped around my shoulders at my moment of triumph.

For some reason this story got me thinking about how my entire life, I’ve harbored little dreams that are so far removed from reality that they might as well involve me sprouting wings and flying. I spent much of my childhood preparing for my eventual career as a Minnesota Twin. My preparation did not involve playing or practicing baseball (Oh, hell no), but rather sitting around imagining playing baseball. My dream of becoming a baseball player back then was really no less ridiculous than the moment I took to covet the HNIC towel today.

Reading about the HNIC towel, I was delighted to be reminded that these childhood dreams are universal. This dream is a big part of why we watch sports, and it’s why the towels have value amongst very wealthy men. It’s nice that our little childhood dreams still have value, and it’s even better that sometimes that value is represented by something as simple as one small white towel.

3 Little Things

A perfect gentleman

1. Yay! Pommers is nominated for the Lady Byng. Between Crunchy writing a blog that is basically a hilarious confirmation of all the personality traits we’ve assigned to him, and Pommerdoodle being nominated for what is essentially a “nice guy” award, I’m getting more and more confident that Paul Gaustad actually speaks in HONKS.

2. I love this commercial.

I love this commercial partially because of the appealing music, and partially because of how it’s edited together to look like one long play, but I love it mostly because of the Jagr pass at the 00:47 mark. I tend to get up and wander around the apartment during hockey commercial breaks, but every time I hear this music I zip back to the television so I can see that little soft pass. I don’t know why I love that pass so much.

3. We did a Round One Round-Up Round Table over at ModFan, so go take a peek for our assessment of the first round playoff action.

The System in Our Building

This might not be funny to anyone else but me and the handful of classical musicians who read this blog, but there are a few hockey phrases that I’ve recently been applying to playing in an orchestra.

I’ve always liked how hockey players refer to their arenas as “our building”. Recently, I’ve enjoyed referring to Kleinhans Music Hall as “our building”. This terminology is particularly good for when you have a guest soloist you don’t really like. “I don’t think he should come into our building and play like this.” [Note: this does not apply to our current guest artist, Edgar Meyer, who is quite fabulous. He’s welcome in our building anytime.]

If we go play a run-out, when we get home we can say, “It’s good to be back in our building.”

My other, (and most favorite) hockey phrase is “the system”. You’d be surprised at how many times a day I can say, “Oooh. The system really broke down right there. Come on guys! We can do this. Let’s just stick to the system and work together. Just stick to the system, people!”

Good things will happen if we stick to the system.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to apply the phrase, “They’re really spending a lot of time stuck in their own end” to classical music, and I’m all set.

A Cranky Post

I hate to say it, but hockey isn’t doing it for me right now. This shit is no good without the Sabres! I can’t get a good fix. The highs don’t last very long, and the lows leave me feeling irritated but without any of that satisfying “woe is me” emotional drama. Without the emotional drama, these loathsome non-Sabres teams are no good to me! They’re just genuinely annoying. Bah. Phooey. Flibberty-floo.

I’m looking forward to missing hockey when it’s gone. Missing it while it’s still here is upsetting.

Oh, and Blobby called. He says he’s changed. He finally got his accounting degree from University of Phoenix Online and he says he quit smoking. He paid his mother back all the money he stole, and he is trying to make things right with his blobfish children. He wants to “talk”.

The New New NHL

Ryan Miller and Brian Campbell were both named to the NHL Competitions Committee today. Hopefully these appointments will lead to lots of conversations like this:

Soupy: I have an idea for a new rule. Get this. (long pause) Are you ready? (Crunchy gives Soupy a partial death glare) You can……….only…..spin-o-rama………… (dramatically long pause)……overtheblueline. (Throws hands into air in gesture of supreme triumph)
Crunchy: (with squinty eyes) Wait. You can’t spin-o-rama anywhere else on the ice?
Soupy: Good GOD, no! That’s not what I meant! You can ALWAYS spin-o-rama! Geez! Why pass on an opportunity to spin when skating in a straight line will do? No, I meant, when you cross the blue line, you HAVE to spin-o-rama.
Crunchy: Going in or out?
Soupy: Both
Crunchy: Does everyone have to spin-o-rama, or just the puck carrier?
Soupy: Everyone.

(Both guys pause to visualize this rule change.)

Crunchy: I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Soupy: Well, you’re wrong.
Crunchy: Well, you’re drunk, so I win. I have an idea for a new rule too.
Soupy. (rolling his eyes) Lemme guess, you want to make the nets smaller.
Crunchy: (excitedly) I want to make the nets tiny. The nets should only be twice the width of the goalie’s hips. That way, scoring is reduced, AND goalies are encouraged to stay slender.
Soupy: (Obviously not paying attention to Crunchy’s idea.) What if we put the nets in the middle of the ice, back-to-back, facing out? (Tapping index finger on chin while staring dramatically into the distance) IMAGINE all the spinning I could do….
Crunchy: (exasperated) That’s dumb.
Soupy: (using air quotes) “YOU’RE” “dumb”
Crunchy: (shaking head in disgust) That’s it, my boy. You’ve just lost your air quotes privileges.
Soupy: (distraught) (using very small, sad air quotes) “Rats.”

End Scene

Announcing ModFan!

In our quest to fill the internet to the brim with hockey chatter, Heather, Patty, Pookie, Schnookie, and I have joined forces on a group blog. I am pleased to announce the arrival of ModFan! Yes, I know! It’s really, really exciting! You SHOULD be jumping up and down and squealing!

Our plan is this:

1. Talk a lot about hockey and hockey issues
2. Publish some of the stuff we talk about
3. Gain influential, monetary, and spiritual control of the hockey blogosphere
4. World domination

You can expect ModFan to look and read something like this:

Katebits: So, what’s the deal with Cujo? Can I love him without reservation?
Pookie: NOOOOOO!
Schnookie: No. Never. DO NOT LOVE CUJO.
Katebits: Too late. I love Cujo

Get ready, world.  Heh.

In the Dumper

(Antoine, please turn away.)

The first major upset in the Battle of the Secondary Teams (for my heart) has occurred. I’ve had it with the Habs. What the HELL? They are the worst juggernaut EVER and I am totally over them. I didn’t see the game last night because I had a concert. It looked like it was a pretty exciting game, but honestly, the stupid Habs should have finished these Bruins off a week ago. What kind of powerhouse are these guys? NONE! They are NO kind of powerhouse.

It seems like the Habs are everyone’s default secondary team, and you know what? They have let us down.

Go Bruins!