Sabretooth Needs a Better Lawyer

Kevin Snow (Sabres PR director) confirmed that this is, in fact, the real Sabretooth.  Sabretooth has a twitter account, you guys.

While this is obviously a very exciting development, it also raises all sorts of issues, not the least of which is the shocking knowledge that Sabretooth CAN READ AND WRITE!   Now, I know for a fact that he cannot speak (or perhaps he choose not to?), so the fact that he apparently can read and write in English is AMAZING.

I really think that the Sabres organization should provide him with some sort of computer (or chalkboard) so he can communicate while working at the arena.  He’s compensated for his muteness by becoming a fantastic physical comedian, but, now that we know Sabretooth CAN read and write, I feel we have a moral obligation to give him the tools to do so.  Sabretooth has given us so much, it’s time that his voice was heard!   He should have a little computer with him at ALL TIMES so that he can express himself when banging on the glass, and shooting t-shirts out of a gun is not enough.

For all we know, Sabretooth is a poet.

Adam Mair’s Charm School For Bloggers

Katebits: Adam, I recently realized that I am TOTALLY confused about the Buffalo Sabrgosphere.  There are, like, a hundred million Sabres blogs out there!  I don’t even think I know about all the Sabres blogs anymore.  My blogroll is a mess.

Adam: Maintaining a tidy blogroll is important for any blogger who hopes to make a good impression.

Katebits: I do want to make a good impression!

Adam: And that’s why you’ve come to Adam Mair’s Charm School For Bloggers?

Katebits:  Yes. I’m looking for tips on blogging etiquette.

Adam:  I would be happy to assist you with that, Ms. Katebits.  First of all, I commend you for making this effort to become a well mannered blogger.

Katebits:  Thanks.  I try to be classy.  I mean, I’m not very good at being classy….but I try.

Adam: (gets out a leather bound notebook and fancy feather pen)  Alright, in what area of blogging do you feel you need the most guidance?

(Adam begins jotting down notes as Katebits speaks)

Katebits: Well, like I said, there are so many Sabres blogs now that I’ve gotten WAY behind in my efforts to keep track of them, much less read them all.  I spent a few minutes updating my blogroll today, and I realized there are 29 active Sabres blogs right now.  TWENTY NINE! And those are just the ones I KNOW about!  I need help keeping track of all the Sabres blogs so that I can enjoy them and link to them when appropriate.

Adam: (looking up notebook with a disapproving gaze) Katebits, if you want to be viewed as a lady of impeccable taste and high breeding you can’t have that many links in your blogroll.  It makes you look…oh heavens…how can I put this tactfully?…..well, to be perfectly frank it makes you look….easy.  A blogroll of this size is unseemly!  If you want to maintain a reputation as a woman of high moral fiber, some of those blogs have to go.

Katebits: Really?  But they’re all Sabres blogs!  I love Sabres blogs!  I could never choose!  No, I’m afraid my policy must remain: If you’re writing a Sabres blog and you’ve been regularly updating for a few weeks, send me an email and I’ll put you on the blogroll.

Adam: I say, this type of permissive policy simply will not do!  What about gossipy blogs about the player’s lives?  I suppose your blogroll is FULL of gossip blogs!

Katebits: Well, first of all, that’s not really our style.  Bloggers like to leave the unsightly gossip for the (sniffing in exaggerated disgust) message boards. Plus, not to be rude or anything, but no one really cares that much about your real lives, Adam.

Adam: What?!  I find that insulting!

Katebits: (cooly) Hm.  Well then, I apologize.

Adam: I’m not sure I can accept that apology.

Katebits: Why ever not?

Adam: I think that perhaps only a JOKE would say such a thing.

Katebits: Are you calling me a joke?

Adam: Perhaps I am!  Yes, I believe I am!  I think you, Katebits, are a joke.

Katebits: (getting angry) Oh, YEAH?  Well, what are you going to do about it?

Adam: I shall make you pay!  (rubbing a smelly hockey glove in Katebits’ face) YOU’RE A JOKE!

(Katebits and Adam start brawling until they are broken up by Sabretooth and members of the local media who happen to be filming the entire encounter.)

The End

(Moral of the story: Don’t go to Adam Mair for etiquette lessons, and if you want to be on the blogroll, send me an email.)

Everybody, Lean to the Left

So, today is Super Bowl Sunday. Whatever, football. Whatever. I’m celebrating by staying in, cleaning the house, and watching the Puppy Bowl.

On an unrelated note, while poking around in Dave and Buster’s Adam’s flicker page (shop Dave and Adam!), I found this extremely awesome picture.

Photo Courtesy of Dave and Adam’s Card World

I like this picture because it looks as if Goose, Mike Ryan, and Sabretooth are about the bust into song and dance. I think they might have been rehearsing for their new musical, “Safety First”, and this song is Goose and Ryan’s big duet: “I’m So Sorry Eye Didn’t Wear a Visor”.

Hit it, fellas.

Day at the Zoo