Sabres vs. Canadiens 2/29/08

Pregame

Mood: Pumped but cautious.
Favorite Sabre: I’m tempted to say Steve Bernier, but I feel it’s too soon. Goose and his tree-hugging ways are always a good bet, but the thing is, Toni Tony Tone really recaptured my heart the other night. He had FOUR(!) assists on Wednesday. He’s a points getting MOOOONSTER!
Least Favorite Sabre: Sigh. T-Bone, I just can’t deal with you.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Duh

Summary of thoughts: It’s Leap Year Day which is obviously a date steeped in black magik and mystery. I don’t know if Leap Day is good or bad for the Sabres, all I know is that it’s a weird day. All sorts of oddness is swirling: A healthy Staffy and Max being scratched for Peters and Kaleta? Whaa?

After the 1st (0-2, Canadiens)

Mood: Unhappy, sad, and hungry.
Favorite Sabre: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOO! BOO!
Least Favorite Sabre: I could never choose. I hate all my Sabres equally.
Animal representing my hopes for this game:

Pathetic

Summary of thoughts: Steve Bernier did NOT score two goals in this period. In fact, he scored ZERO goals. What the hell? Staffy and Max are back, but they’re NOT even trying to woo me. Is it just me, or did that period COMPLETELY SUCK? They were slow, disorganized, and Crunchy is….worrisome. I want my money back. I want my life back. I also need to eat dinner because this game is crazy annoying on an empty stomach.

After the 2nd (1-4, Canadiens)

Mood: For awhile I was feeling unreasonably irked, but now I’m just….blank.
Favorite Sabre: I have to admit that my hideous mood was somewhat soothed by the sight of Crunchy in a shower cap/hair net and goggles wandering around the ice cream factory trying out his personal flavor “Breakaway Berry-er”. Due to his excellent work with the ice cream industry, Crunchy is my temporary favorite Sabre. Since there is more hockey to play, I’m confident this renewed sense of calm won’t last.
Least Favorite Sabre: I am not at all happy to have you back Max.
Animal representing my hopes for this game:

This is just sad

Summary of thoughts: The Canadiens are much, much better at hockey than the Sabres. One thing that is awfully discouraging about this team is that they never seem to rise to the challenge of a better team. I basically couldn’t stand to watch for most of the second period, so I went into the kitchen and made myself a delicious nicoise salad. I can highly recommend eating a nicoise salad tonight. Do it. You might feel better about life.

At the end (2-6, Canadiens)

Summary of thoughts: I TOLD you Leap Year Day was EVIL. This day doesn’t EVEN EXIST.

Okay, hold on. Mike Robitaille just called the Montreal powerplay “staccato-like”. That’s kind of…..awesome. GREAT. Now I’m in love with MIKE ROBITAILLE. This day could NOT be worse!

Current Temperture: Psyched

I really wish the Sabres were playing tonight.  Last night was such a fun game that I’m now in the mood to take on the rest of the schedule in eighteen consecutive nights.

As despondent as I was after the Flyers game, that’s how hopeful I feel after last night.  The Soupy Crisis is over, we’ve got the new guy, and Staffy and Max are cleared to play.  Everything looks better than it did just a few days ago.

I do not have the wisdom of perspective when I watch these games.  Every night is a crisis.  Every game is either the start of the winning streak, or the beginning of the end.  I’m a mess.

Man, I love hockey.

Why HELLO, Big Bear!

That happy sigh you just heard was the sound of every man, woman, and child in Buffalo falling in love with Steve Bernier.

We liked him right from the start.

Hey, Big Bear.

And then he started playing hockey, and suddenly it was like:

Holy shit, Big bear. Um, whoa. I mean,….dude! WELCOME TO BUFFALO!

And as soon as the game was over it was back to:

Big Bear: “I’m just happy to be here. Buffalo is great. These guys are amazing.”

And that’s when we all collapsed into a full blown swoon. The National Guard had to be called in because every single person in Western New York passed out simultaneously…..from love and relief.

*****

Toni Tone Tony Lydman had four (4) assists tonight. Just saying. Kate’s Favorite Sabre, represents.

*****

I watched the game over at my friends Dan and Sandy’s house tonight. They have a new television that’s the size of my dining room table. It took me about twenty minutes before I could stop saying things like, “It looks amazing. The picture is…so…I mean….it’s….I feel like we are AT the game right now.” I might need to impulse buy a new television soon. Either I need a new television, or Dan and Sandy are going to have to get reeeal used to me sitting on their couch and drinking their Diet Coke.  They’ll never get rid of me.  It’ll be like that movie “You, Me, and Dupree,” only incredibly annoying.

Fresh Start

Whoa. Trade Deadline Day was intense. So were the last few Sabres games.

I’m exhausted and I’m ready to move on. The Soupy Crisis is over.

Here’s my new plan:

1. I’m going to enjoy the rest of the season. The back-to-back losses to the Rangers and the Flyers, combined with the city-wide Soupy hysteria threw my hockey chi all out of whack. I need to get my priorities straight. Stressing about making the playoffs = low priority. Laughing at the fact that we have a new guy named “Big Bear”= high priority.

2. Stop looking at the standings. For a few weeks I was obsessively calculating what had to happen in order for the Sabres to improve in the standings. It was making me surly. I mean, it’s one thing to get my undies in a twist when the Sabres lose, but it’s quite another to get them twisted when the Islanders win. Giving a shit about the Islanders is no way to live. (No offense, Margee)

3. That’s it. That’s my plan. What do you think?

Thank GOD It’s Over!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Okay, I know that this is really sad news for some people, and I respect that, I really do, but the mood here at TWC headquarters is celebratory. Extremely.

Here’s the new guy. He’s got a cool nickname! Big Bear! Right now on the radio they are comparing him to Goose, which is making me feel a little nervous. GOOSE IS IRREPLACEABLE, DARCY. This kid is NO GOOSE.

He is, however, a Sabre! HOOOOORAY! I guess this is kind of a tough break for Steve Bernier. San Jose to Buffalo is, um, not a super awesome move. Too bad, kiddo. The good news for you, Big Bear, is that we will make you a star. You’ll be a king in Buffalo. A KING I tell you! Welcome to Buffalo, NY.

The New York Times, Baby

I would like to interrupt your busy schedule of depressed drinking, and feverishly refreshing your browser in the hopes of discovering Soupy has been traded for Olli Jokinen, but only for a moment. Then it’s right back to wallowing, and soul-searing frustration, I promise.

*******

Imagine my recent surprise when, while relaxing at TWC headquarters, I received an email from the New York Times. According to the email, they had a project in the works that required my assistance. Not wanting to seem too eager and shamefully available, I waited a few hours before icily replying that, yes, despite my busy schedule, I would be willing to help.

And then I called my mom…..to squeal into the phone that the NEW YORK TIMES just gave me an assignment.

The fine people at Slap Shot, the NYT’s hockey blog, have asked a blogger representative from each NHL team to answer a short questionnaire. Apparently, the project is being run by someone’s ten-year-old nephew, because against all reason, I have been chosen as the Sabres blogger. I know. It makes no sense. But, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (whatever that means), so rather than argue with this rogue NYT agent, I quickly accepted his assignment and a giant suitcase of cash in payment. (By “giant suitcase of cash,” what I really mean is, “bragging rights”.)

You can read my post on the Slap Shot blog on the New York Times website, here.

You can nominate me for the Pulitzer Prize, here.

In all seriousness, participating in a project for The New York Times has been a hoot. Thank you so much to Jeff Z. Klein for putting this together, and for giving me the opportunity to enjoy years of seeing “The New York Times” come up when I google my own name.

*******

Now, Sabres fans, please continue binge drinking. Last night never happened. IT NEVER HAPPENED IF WE CAN’T REMEMBER.

Sabres vs. Flyers 2/25/08

Pregame

Mood: Worried.
Favorite Sabre: I am highly concerned about Brian Campbell’s willingness to seriously participate in this game. In order to encourage at least one more night of his loyalty to the slug, I am naming him my current Favorite Sabre. That’s right, Soupy. We are nothing without you. Nothing.
Least Favorite Sabre: Ales Kotalik. I don’t even mean this. I totally like Ales. That was a heartbreaking mistake against the Rangers. I’m all nervous tonight. I’m saying and doing things I don’t mean.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: One small felt owl

I’m concerned. Highly.

Prediction: I don’t have a good feeling about this one. I’m sorry, but as delightful as their run has been, Philly is just not going to lose forever. They might suck, but even the suckiest Suckersons win one occasionally. I think the atmosphere at the arena is going to be weird. Everyone is all confused about who is who, and which team who plays for. Plus, the game is on Versus. Ew.

After the 1st (3-2, Sabres)

Mood: 1.Happy 2. Joyful 3. Elated 4. Annoyed 5.Suicidal
Favorite Sabre: Myself. I’m not sure you guys realize how much impact I have on the play of Derek Roy. Derek Roy is on my fantasy hockey team, The Fancy Bits. On the evening he returned to the Sabres lineup after his shoulder injury, I forgot to take him off of the F-Bit bench. He went on to score, like 45 goals that night. Wonderful for the Sabres, frustrating for the F-Bits. Every since then, I have kept Roy-Z on the bench, only playing him he is literally my only center playing a game. So, basically, my fine F-Bit managing skillz are directly responsible for Roy-Z’s fine play of late. You’re welcome.
Least Favorite Sabre: Danny Briere. I’m sorry to report that Danny seems to be playing for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Whaaa? When did THAT happen? Danny Briere is, like, the worst Sabre ever!
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Large metal owl

My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.

Prediction: I dare not say a word.

After the 2nd (3-2, Sabres)

Mood: This game feels angry and pissy and no fun.
Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I hate them all.
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I love them all.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Scary owl

My hope is starting to freak me out. Look at it. Yikes.

Prediction: Well, someone is going to win, and someone is going to lose.

After the 3rd (3-3)

Mood: Grim

At the end (4-3, Flyers)

Mood: Dejected

Favorite Sabre: Whoever we get for Soupy

Animal Representing my hopes for the season:

From whence it came. Only way worse.

Summary of thoughts: I did not enjoy that. That was supremely unpleasant.

The Deadline Looms

I’m not going to lie. I’m going to be a little peeved if Soupy is still a Sabre tomorrow on Tuesday. (It has come to my attention that the trade deadline is on Tuesday, not tomorrow. My bad. It’s this attention to detail that makes mine such a vital voice in the hockey blogosphere.)

I wish him well, and all the happiness in the world. This is his chance to cash in on all his years of hard work, and I do not begrudge him that. I just don’t think the Sabres should be the team to fork over the cash, and if Darcy can grab few tasty prospects by trading Soupy, well, then that’s what I think he should do.

Mmmm…..tasty prospects…

Go Forth and Boo (If That’s Your Style)

I am pro booing. Every time I write the sentence “I am pro booing,” I feel like I need to follow it up with an explanation of all the different ways that I’m a good person, and why I like booing, and why I don’t think it’s that big a deal, and why I truly think booing can be joyful and fun, but honestly, I should stop trying to justify my position on this issue. My name is Katebits, and I’m a booer. You can think I’m a “classless” beeyotch if you want. I don’t mind. It doesn’t really matter what I think, or what you think, Drury is going to get booed tonight. (Not by me. I’ll be playing Mendelssohn tonight. Pretty “classy”, no?) I’m sure Chris Drury can handle the boos, but it looks like Jerry Sullivan is going to be very, very disappointed in all of us after the game. Whatevs, Sully. Whatevs.

Buffalo, I’m Proud Of Us.

For some reason, against my better judgment, about an hour and a half ago, I turned on WGR. For those of you outside of Buffalo, WGR is our sports talk radio station. Usually, WGR makes me want to kill myself because it’s incredibly angry and insane. I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to listen to the radio during the peak of the Brian Campbell intrigue. You’d think that the hours upon hours I spent listening to people freak out about the Briere and Drury last summer would have taught me to JUST SAY NO when it comes to WGR, but apparently not.

I just listened to caller after caller express concern about signing Brian Campbell at the expense of the upcoming free agents. A very high percentage of people who called in seem to believe that Soupy’s value to the Sabres is highest as trade bait. People are keeping their heads! They are listening to reason! Schopp and the Bulldog are NOT having temper tantrums. They are calmly adding up the numbers and deducing that if we sign Soupy to what he wants, the team will be committing too much money to too few players. Even Schoop was amazed at the tone of the calls.

I….don’t understand. Buffalo, where is the loony-tunes outrage? Where are the over-the-top accusations of management skin-flintery and incompetence?

Where’s the craaaaazy, Buffalo?