According to Mike Harrington and John Vogl, Tim Connolly has a broken rib. The thing is, it took three days and two rounds of x-rays before Timmy’s was correctly diagnosed. Timmy actually played in an NHL game before they figured out that he even had a broken rib.
Now, I dislike Tim Connolly as much as the next viola-playing-Sabres-blogger, but even I have to feel a little badly for poor Timmy on this one. I bet nobody in the Sabres organization takes Tim seriously anymore when he complains about pain. He’s like the boy who cried wolf….only there ACTUALLY IS a wolf EVERY SINGLE TIME!
Here’s how I imagine things went down with Tim Connolly last week.
After the hit during the game:
Timmy: My chest hurts.
Lindy: Shut up.
After the game was over:
Timmy: No, seriously. My chest really hurts.
Lindy: Shut up.
Team Doctor: We’ll do an x-ray just to be on the safe side.
After the first x-ray:
Timmy: My chest really hurts, you guys.
Doctors: Well, that’s weird because you’re fine. There is nothing wrong with you.
Lindy: I’m so sick of you. If you don’t quit your bitching and man-up RIGHT THIS SECOND, you are never seeing another minute of NHL ice time on my watch. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
Timmy: *whimper*
After the game that Timmy played with a broken rib:
Timmy: SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, MY CHEST REALLY EFFING HURTS. THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. I WANT ANOTHER X-RAY YOU MOTHER EFFERS!
After the second x-ray:
Doctor: My bad. Turns out you have a broken rib.
Lindy: Tim, I really give you a lot of credit for playing through this injury. Sorry we didn’t believe you.
Timmy: (shooting death glares) I want two puck bunnies and a six pack of Zima in my hotel room in the next ten minutes or I am going to sue you people into oblivion.
Darcy Reiger: Done.
The Willful Caboose 
Fly on the wall… how do you do it?
Doctor: My bad. Turns out you have a broken rib.
HAHAHAHAAA. I can totally see it happening like that, too.
“Timmy: (shooting death glares) I want two puck bunnies and a six pack of Zima in my hotel room in the next ten minutes or I am going to sue you people into oblivion.”
I think I exploded with giggles after I read that. Good thing I wasn’t drinking or eating anything, because it would have been all over my monitor.
For reals, that’s hilarious!
I love how mean Lindy is- Shut Up.
I think Poor Timmy needs a career change. Apparently his bones are as delicate as china.
Hilarious stuff. Lindy is spot on.
I like the puck bunny/zima comment. I totally see that.
One of my pet peeves is that there’s always that one person at work who always has something wrong, always sick, constantly complaining.
But you’d think that a professional sports team at some point would be rid of that person. Must be the Union.
Doctor: My bad. Turns out you have a broken rib.
This totally happened to me when I was, like, two years old! Only replace “broken rib” with “skull fracture” and “being crushed in professional hockey game” with “not being strapped into infant seat on bicycle by idiot babysitter.” Took the damn doctors two weeks to notice the big crack in my head…
(Annnnd yes, it was shortly after this that I became a violist.)
hilarious post…
maybe instead of zime he should be drinking milk
Thanks everyone!
Poor baby Sam! (My sister had a broken arm for a day before my parents took her to the doctor. It happens.)
KLASSIC!!!!!!!!!
ZIMA!!
Thanks Ang!