During the SuperSkillz competition on Saturday, I was delighted to catch a glimpse of Sabretooth galavanting around in the background during an on-ice interview with Jason Spezza. I’m so glad that Sabretooth got to go to the All-Star game! Seriously, of all the current Sabres, I honestly think he might be the person I trust the most to represent Buffalo. Plus, knowing that he was in Atlanta filled my head with all sorts of delightful images: Sabretooth on a plane. (Does he get to fly first class?) Sabretooth waiting at the baggage claim at the airport. Sabretooth in a swanky hotel room, looking for a good movie to watch on pay-per-view. (No, not porn! Sabretooth would NEVER!) Sabretooth splashing some water on his face in the morning before he pulls on his jersey.
And THEN, while visiting Full. Body. Transplant. this morning, I saw this amazing photograph.
By my count, there are 23 mascots here, which means seven teams were unrepresented. Removing a few Marty Broduer-like “I’m having family problems, but, no, no, don’t worry, everyone is fine” diva mascots, I would say there are a few teams that either don’t have a mascot at all (LAME), or were too cheap to send their mascot (UNFORGIVABLE).
Of course, as wonderful as a picture like this is, it also raises a LOT of questions that I know will never be answered to my satisfaction. Do you think that when these mascots get together in a big group like this, that they talk, um, outloud? Or do they all just stand around together, gesturing theatrically? Did the Sabres send the good, repelling Sabretooth, or did they send the threadbare Hobo-Sabretooth that stands on the concourse before the games at HSBC? Who is that weird bear/wolf thing in the upper left, and why is his tongue dangling out like that? Why are there no female mascots? Why the FUCK is the Hurricane mascot a pig? Do the shoes come off of that pig, or are those just fake shoes designed to deflect attention from what I assume should be hooves?
And most importantly, what is up with this guy?
According to the Columbus Blue Jackets website, his name is Stinger, which I guess would make him a bee. In his bio he lists “brushing his teeth” as one of his hobbies. I’m really not sure how I feel about Stinger.
The Willful Caboose 
Who is that weird bear/wolf thing in the upper left, and why is his tongue dangling out like that?
I can’t remember who he goes with but I’m pretty sure that’s the guy who got his tongue ripped out by Craig MacTavish a few years ago. You think he’d be more careful with that thing now.
Why the FUCK is the Hurricane mascot a pig?
That’s probably my favorite WTH mascot.
There are actually 7 teams without mascots. Luckily, nobody was too cheap to fly theirs in.
The bear/wolf thing is Calgary’s Harvey The Hound. What, don’t you find his little RCMP hat truly the identity of Calgary?
And, as I LOVE to point out, NHL mascot page…. here
Notice how SpartaCat has been separated from the rest of his division mascots. Even Youppi gets to sit with Carlton, Sabretooth and Blades but SpartaCat is forced to sit in the corner with a decidedly bored looking Devil. Even the mascots think SpartaCat is lame.
5 teams don’t have a mascot. Lame.
Best Mascot Fact Ever: When things weren’t going well for Dmitry Yushkevich in Toronto a few years ago he publicly said, “Carlton the Bear is the most honest man in the Leafs organization.”
I can’t remember who he goes with but I’m pretty sure that’s the guy who got his tongue ripped out by Craig MacTavish a few years ago.
Yup, Harvey is the one who got his tongue ripped off by MacT. Apparently he got a little too into the heckling and forgot that MacT is hardcore. Perhaps the wittiness and glasses tricked Harvey into forgetting that he was dealing with the last man in the NHL not to wear a helmet, a fact which is clearly a sign of insanity lurking within.
The Stars don’t have a mascot and I’m not sorry we couldn’t send one.
Seriously, what in the good Lord’s name would we be able to send? Twinkle the Little Star? I’m so glad we don’t have one.
That being said, that thing with the long tongue is hideous, but not as nightmare-inducing as YOUPPI.
Caitlin, I really think you guys SHOULD have a little Star mascot! You can be the team that breaks down the mascot gender divide! Twinkle would be so cute and girly.
I like how the Islanders mascot buried himself in the middle of the pack so no one would look at that picture and immediately blurt out, “Hey! Why is the mascot of an arena lacrosse team at the NHL All-Star Game? Oh, that’s right. Because he works the night shift at the Islanders games to pay off his credit card debt.”
You can be the team that breaks down the mascot gender divide!
Tampa actually has a girl mascot: Ladybug. She’s Thunderbug’s significant other.
Also, my workplace has a mascot. Like a real mascot. Like crafted-by-the-people-who-did-the-Phanatic-real. The person inside gets 15 minutes off for every 45 minutes of performing for the little kiddies in order to have a smoke.
I suppose I might be just a _bit_ biased, but I think Sabretooth is the cutest mascot EVER.
The Penguins, Leafs, and Panthers are close in the running, but they can’t come close to Tooth’s awesomeness. :)
That picture is about 23 different kind of adorable.
Also, my workplace has a mascot. Like a real mascot. Like crafted-by-the-people-who-did-the-Phanatic-real.
Is it a bookworm, Pookie?
What kind of family problems does a suit like that get into? The young-uns ran away and are living in the squalor of the crane game at the supermarket?
Is it a bookworm, Pookie?
Nope, a dragon. He has a bio like Stingers which explains that he goes to the library because he was ostracized by his dragon family because he can’t breathe fire. Basically, his message is “Hey, loser kids! Are you losers? Well, I’m a loser, too, and I love my local public library!”
Sabretooth is hands-down the cutest mascot. Although I have to admit I enjoy the short-bus feel of Iceburgh the Penguin sitting up in the back with Youppi. I enjoy how teams without an animal as their logo must get creative. Such as the Capitals – good call with the eagle, nice touch. Vancouver – who doesn’t like to see a shark walking around on two legs? – San Jose I’d say you too but you are The Sharks sooo…yeah, not as creative. Carolina-uhhh Stormy is cute I guess. Ha, Thunderbug.
I have to admit, Sabretooth stands out as a beacon of awesomeness in this picture. He looks SO cute there surrounded by his less spectacular colleagues. One thing I really like about Sabretooth is that his mouth is not set to permanent “agape” like so many of those other guys.
That’s true, what’s with the mouth hanging open thing? Maybe mascot face designers think it makes them look more excited. I feel it makes them look slow. And why is Stinger green? Aren’t they the Blue Jackets? Are other parts of Stinger blue? His face is clearly not.
It is also refreshing that, like many other California teams (San Diego Chargers with “Bolt Man”) the Ducks went for less “cute” and more “terrifying” with their mascot. The “Jason” goalie mask is not exactly inviting and friendly.
The “Jason” goalie mask is not exactly inviting and friendly.
I for one like the scary mascot. It’s bad enough they’re the Ducks… they already look silly. It’s a little better now that 1) Neidermayer #1 is back and playing so they are winning again and B) they dropped the old Disney logo. I think the scary we’re-gonne-beat-you-up mascot is just the right touch.
The young-uns ran away and are living in the squalor of the crane game at the supermarket?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Anne, I think Stinger is actually black-and-yellow bee colored on his body, with an inexplicably green face. But he wears a blue jacket. And blue hat. So… there you go? I don’t know. He’s a mystery wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in an enigma and topped with mascot fur.
Thunderbug is BY FAR my favorite hockey mascot because he goes on hunger strikes on the roof of the Tampa arena to force the fans to sell out their playoff home games. I just adore the fact that he’s up there, chained to the roof, laying it all on the line and holding the fans emotionally hostage. Now THAT’S a mascot. (Plus, he has an adorable plush mascot-sized Stanley Cup ring. How awesome is that?) (Oh, and Pookie, I think they retired Ladybug a few years ago. I can’t figure out why they’d do that, though.)
The Thrashers mascot looks like he wants to peck someone’s eyes out.
Have y’all seen this Sabretooth video?
Amy, thank you SO MUCH for that video! HAHAHAHAHAH! I love it!
who doesn’t like to see a shark walking around on two legs? –
Knock, knock….
(Music from Jaws plays}
“Who is it?”
“Candygram”
Amy, even though I spent the whole time living in fear of the hypothetical moment when Sabretooth would take off his head and throw it in the air, that video was AWESOME!
Kate, this post is also AWESOME! Sabretooth totally rules all those other mascots. He’s the best! And I fucking hate that fucking stupid Carolina pig! HATE IT! I think I hate that pig more than I hate any player in the league. Is that sad? Also, Spartacat has a serious case of mange.
I haven’t read through all of the comments yet so I don’t know if it’s been explained already but the ‘Canes mascot is a pig because they were originally supposed to be called something like “The IceHogs”. Yeah, really glad they scrapped that one.
And I see Carleton and Spartacat are adequately separated.
Isn’t Vancouver’s mascot a Killer Whale?
I don’t see the Red Wings.. guess they don’t have a mascot. ANd the Stars are missing, who else? Avalanche? (that dude is scary so it’s okay he wasn’t there)… and I don’t think I see anyone representing the Flyers or the Rangers? And St. Louis and Minnesota round out the 7 missing teams.
Mascots kinda creep me out. Maybe that’s because I know just how gross and sweaty those costumes are. I’ve had the lovely experience of being a mascot (paid and unpaid) for 2 minor league hockey teams. Never for games, but for just about any other community appearance you might imagine, I’ve probably been there. I met a 4-Star Air Force General…. as a flying squirrel. LOL
I think Carlton is the cutest mascot. He just looks so.. friendly!
and Stinger= CREEPY and radioactively yellow-green. No one knows why he’s that color but he always has been. Don’t think it’s a trick of the light, he really is that color. It’s one of the mysteries of life.
We met someone who’s daughter was going to Vanderbilt and ended up as their mascot and winning some US university mascot college contest and got paid to go teach the trade to other would-be mascots. Imagine laying out the coin to send your kid to Vanderbilt and she graduates summa cum laude in mascotting!!
Good thing it can be a lucrative, if perhaps a short, career.
At the risk of cementing my image as TWC’s resident curmudgeon:
Mascots are for sports that, whatever their merits, have a lot of downtime in between the action. Phillie Phanatic? Absolutely. Ragnar the Viking Freak? Sure. Brushy, the West Edmonton Curling Mascot? I see no reason to object.
But hockey? Hockey needs no mascots. There’s a damn game going on. Get the fuzzballs out of here. If the Wild (or the Flyers) ever get a mascot, I will be the guy you see on the news being hauled out of the arena by armed guards and charged with Muppet Battery.
A little piece of interesting mascot trivia. The Canadians mascot, Youpii, is actually the old mascot of the Montreal Expos baseball team. When the Expos bailed out of Montreal for Washington DC, Youpii came over to the NHL. He is the only mascot to ever changes leagues!!
From what I hear, Dan, the Habs fans aren’t terribly happy about his appearance, either…
That is interesting, Dan. Youpii is so weird that I figured he was some sort of traditional French-Canadian character. You mean Montreal had the opportunity to scrap that guy and they didn’t take it?!
B) they dropped the old Disney logo. I think the scary we’re-gonne-beat-you-up mascot is just the right touch.
Actually, Wild Wing is a carryover from Disney times. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mighty_Ducks_%28TV_series%29
And the only really scary thing about him is everyone making fun of him for being a fire hazard. :P
Louie looks like he’s frozen and apparently, Colorado and Phoenix’s mascots have the same name, Howler.
Thanks Amy for the Sabertooth post…too funny!
St. Louis does now have a mascot as of this year. Louie is seated next to Harvey the Hound. Louie’s “9-5” workday can be seen on the Blues website. I think Louie was the only mascot without skates though for the mascot game at the All Star weekend.
I don’t know if it’s been explained already but the ‘Canes mascot is a pig because they were originally supposed to be called something like “The IceHogs
not really stormys a pig because of how north carolina has a lot of pig farms and bbq
In the bottom middle thteres THRASH of the ATLANTA THRASHERS sitting between the pig and the bear